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n the present day, many people can definitely increase their financial income from growing of economy. Lots of country can be powered by their professional skill citizen. Even through the developed countries can offer their people have a power of spending liquidit

n the present day, many people can definitely increase their financial income from growing of economy. Lots of country can be powered by their professional skill citizen. Even through the developed countries can offer their people have a power of spending liquidit WmRgN
In the present day, many people can definitely increase their financial income from growing of economy. Lots of country can be powered by their professional skill citizen. Even through the developed countries can offer their people have a power of spending liquidity, citizens still feel that their life are not as flexible as in the previous time. Personally, I thinks the increasing amounts of competition in developed countries might be the main cause of feeling stress among people in countries. Nowadays, fresh graduate people have absolutely contest with one another to obtain a good positional job in the famous companies. Majority of the well-known firms was commonly located in industrialized states that can be the reason of some people in developed states get stress. In some case, outstanding persons are probably reserved in suitable position of work and are hired with high salary. While some graduated human can surely not turn back time to jump up their grade for receiving high salary in their starting salary. There is a problem which make the industrialized counties have less happy than the past. Even if developing countries have lower competition than industrialized states, student and fresh graduate people still have depression from familiar persons such as parent, friend, and lover who have expectation about their career. For example, student was expected to enter the famous college in faculty which has higher requirement of labor market. Surely, developing states don’t have several of careers, only high-skilled occupations are needed, such as doctors, dentists, pharmacists, nurses, and engineers. Finally, those problems obviously present the different causes which make citizen feel unhappy in their routine. Namely, developed states have higher contest in position of occupations while developing states have more depression in their life. I can be known that every society have diversity of troubles and people have to put them up to break out those problems by self-improvement.
In the present day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can definitely increase their financial income from growing of economy. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
be powered
by their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
citizen. Even through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a power of spending liquidity, citizens
still
feel that their life are not as flexible as in the previous time.
Personally
, I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "think"
thinks
the increasing amounts of competition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might be the main cause of feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in countries.

Nowadays, fresh graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
absolutely
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "contested".
contest
with one another to obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
positional job in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Majority of the well-known firms was
commonly
located in industrialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
that can be the reason of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case, outstanding persons are
probably
reserved in suitable position of work and
are hired
with high salary. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
graduated human can
surely
not turn back time to jump up their grade for receiving high salary in their starting salary. There is a problem which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the industrialized counties have less happy than the past.

Even if developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have lower competition than industrialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
, student and fresh graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
have depression from familiar persons such as parent, friend, and lover who have expectation about their career.
For example
, student was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to enter the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
college in faculty which has higher requirement of labor market.
Surely
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
don’t have several of careers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
high-skilled occupations
are needed
, such as doctors, dentists, pharmacists, nurses, and engineers.

Finally
, those problems
obviously
present the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
causes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
citizen feel unhappy in their routine.
Namely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
have higher contest in position of occupations while developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
have more depression in their life. I can
be known
that every society have diversity of troubles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put them up to break out those problems by self-improvement.
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IELTS essay n the present day, many people can definitely increase their financial income from growing of economy. Lots of country can be powered by their professional skill citizen. Even through the developed countries can offer their people have a power of spending liquidit

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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