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Movie stars and celebrities should be good role models and use their fame to promote worthy causes to what extent do you agree with this statement use specific reasons and examples to suppoer your opinion

Movie stars and celebrities should be good role models and use their fame to promote worthy causes to what extent use specific reasons and examples to suppoer your opinion YLmV5
although such topic will never yield a consensual agreement, a dialogue on movie stars and celebrities can lead to a thought provoking discussions. my view is that irrespective of numerouse ideas that exist on either sides celebrities and movie starts can lead in positive ways consequently disadvantages is also been considered. my point of view will be pharaphrased in this essay Firstly, celebrities and film starts are using their fame to promot or campaign a product, so we find the product in demand. we find celebrities are promoting the education system by advertising it with online class, smart calss ect. . so students in-order to involve in studies in E-classes and they develop themselves in general knowledge eventually students are attracted to movie stars and listen their quotes through advertisements. secondly, we find movie stars involving the students in knowledge gaining consequently physical development is been in less. we find many sports persons are promoting the kids to play video games for eg. football in play station. there are video games been developed by the sports persons through kids are been affected by not playing outdoor games and they get addicted with electronic games which leads them unhealthy. to conclude with, film stars are promoting the educations in an innovative way but we find the physical activity is totally not involved. so sports starts should try to promote the kids to paly outdoor instead of video games so they can be healthy and fit.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
such topic will never yield a consensual agreement, a dialogue on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can lead to a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thought provoking
discussions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
view is that irrespective
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
numerouse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that exist on either sides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
can lead in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways
consequently
disadvantages is
also
been considered
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
my
point of view will
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
be


Possible spelling mistake found.
pharaphrased
in this essay

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and film
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
are using their fame to
Possible spelling mistake found.
promot
or campaign a product,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the product in demand.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are promoting the education
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
system


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
advertising it with online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, smart
Possible spelling mistake found.
calss
Possible spelling mistake found.
ect
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
students in-order to involve in studies in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
E-classes and
they develop themselves
in general
knowledge
eventually
students
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
attracted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
and listen their quotes through advertisements.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
involving the students in knowledge gaining
consequently
physical development
is been
in less.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sports persons are promoting the kids to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
play


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
The abbreviation "e.g." (= for example) requires two periods.
eg.
football in play station.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
been developed
by the sports persons through kids
are been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by not playing outdoor
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
addicted


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which leads them unhealthy.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude with, film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are promoting the educations
Consider replacing "in an innovative way" with the adverb for "innovative"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an innovative way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the physical activity is
totally
not involved.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
should try to promote the kids
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
paly
outdoor
instead
of video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be healthy and fit.
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IELTS essay Movie stars and celebrities should be good role models and use their fame to promote worthy causes to what extent use specific reasons and examples to suppoer your opinion

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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