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Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now?"

There is no doubt that mothers play key role to children growth. There are many people who think nowadays both parents are busy with their professional life and do not have time for focus on children. I will like to discuss who will take the responsibility of the child care. Firstly, mother is very close to their kids and kids learn all the things like behaviour, eating, discussions from mother. For example, mother will help to their kids in studies, how to behave with others. Father busy with earnings for family and will give what they want. If both are working then kids addict with electronic gadgets and other things. If kids stayed with child care center or day care center, these people will guide just for job. Here is the mother role will play to take care her kids. Secondly, father will guide his or her studies and he will play with kids very limit time. He will have lot of office tensions and other obligations, he cannot spend more time with his kids. For example, father will come late or very late during the day due to office and other activities. When he comes to home, he might be tried and not spend more time to take care of his children. Same will applicable to mother if both are working. If mother at home, she will take more responsibility to kids for each and every aspect. In the conclusion, mother role is very crucial to effect their kids then father. In my openion children need mother for there guidence in every aspect.
There is no doubt that mothers play key role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growth. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
nowadays both parents are busy with their professional life and do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I
Did you mean “would”?
will
like to discuss who will take the responsibility of the child care.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
learn all the things like
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, eating, discussions from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in studies, how to behave with others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Father
busy with earnings for family and will give what they want. If both are working then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
addict with electronic gadgets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
stayed with child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
center or day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
center, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will guide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for job. Here is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
role will play to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
her kids.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
will guide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
he will play with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. He will have
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the lot of” or “a lot of”?
lot of
office tensions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
obligations, he cannot spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
late or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late during the day due to office and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities. When he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to home, he might
be tried
and not spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Same will applicable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
if both are working. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
at home, she will take more responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for each and every aspect.

In the conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
role is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to effect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
openion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
for there
Possible spelling mistake found.
guidence
in every aspect.
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IELTS essay Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now? "

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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