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More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem?

More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem? 1YxX
Nowadays, there lots of people who suffer from stress in comparison of the past time. This essay will highlight some reasons and find a solution for this issue. It is noticable the quantity of people increase day by day and stress proplem do the same and in my opinion, the primary reason is the development of social media. Today, more than half part of people utilize social media actively and millions posts and news are shared each day. That is cause everybody is aware what is happening in the world and to other people and except this generally most of them can pressure each other by virtue of Instagram or FaceBook. As a consequence, when people saw judgement and criticism aganinst them feel stressed owing to the fact they give a damn about people’s thoughts. Due to my mind, social media should be banned to tackle this matter. It is impossible to prohibit writing criticism against others because generally, false accounts can be used and while they are existing people will not end to make use of sites consequently, only solution is to cleare of social media. Considering, if people were not able to enter and use for instance, after certain time, they would give up and get used to live without them. Finally, everything would be as before and in my mind, people would not bear stress. In conclusion, people are more stressed now becase of the impact of social media in their life and getting rid of that is a remedy to me.
Nowadays, there lots of
people
who suffer from
stress
in comparison
of the
past time
. This essay will highlight
some
reasons and find a solution for this issue.

It is
noticable
the quantity of
people
increase day by day and
stress
proplem
do the same and in my opinion, the primary reason is the development of
social
media
.
Today
, more than half part of
people
utilize
social
media
actively
and millions posts and news
are shared
each day.
That is
cause everybody is aware what is happening in the world and to other
people
and except this
generally
most of them can pressure each other by virtue of Instagram or
FaceBook
. As a consequence, when
people
saw
judgement and criticism
aganinst
them feel
stressed
owing to the fact they give a damn about
people’s
thoughts.

Due to my mind,
social
media
should
be banned
to tackle this matter. It is impossible to prohibit writing criticism against others
because
generally
, false accounts can be
used
and while they are existing
people
will not
end
to
make
use
of sites
consequently
,
only
solution is to
cleare
of
social
media
. Considering, if
people
were not able to enter and
use
for instance
, after certain time, they would give up and
get
used
to
live
without them.
Finally
, everything would be as
before
and in my mind,
people
would not bear
stress
.

In conclusion
,
people
are more
stressed
now
becase
of the impact of
social
media
in their life and getting rid of
that is
a remedy to me.
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IELTS essay More people are stressed today than ever before. What are the causes of this stress? What can be done to address this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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