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More employers are offering their employees the option to telecommute. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

More employers are offering their employees the option to telecommute. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. g51gg
Nowadays, telecommuting has become more prevalent in distinct business fields. Employers are offering different job positions whereby employees can carry out their work from home via the internet for several reasons. First of all, employers inevitably can save money when they rely to some extent on telecommuting. An employer would not have to worry about renting a large spacious building that should suffice a large number of employees. Therefore he would not be paying a large amount of money on the rent. however, he would be having of employees to handle the work and optimize the profits when telecommuting is taken into consideration. Moreover, an employer can also save the extra expenditures he would have to pay for employees to cover their travelling expenses. Secondly, optimizing work production can also result from telecommuting. When an employee is constrained within a particular working hours, he would definitely accomplish less work, when relatively compared to a telecommuter who actually has 24 hours everyday to finish the work at his own convenience and accordingly meet his targets sooner than regular employees. Therefore the amount of work that can be accomplished by telecommuters could preceed the other employees. Finally, employers can also benefit from certain prolific candidates, who are not able to work in a regular working ambience. There are a vast majority of people who do have exellent qualifications. Nevertheless, due to certain circumstances, they can not regularly work out of their homes. They could be moms who really have other responsibilities or even people with certain disabilities who find it difficult to travel back and forth to their working destinations. However such people could be exquisite candidates for certain jobs. Hence, telecommuting have facilitated the opportunity for such people to work and proliferate. In conclusion, employers have undoubtedly benefited from offering their employees the aptitude to telecommute. They have saved money, as well as they optimized their profits. In addition to this, they have opened the opportunities for more people to work and to prove their qualifications, from which the employers would be content.
Nowadays, telecommuting has become more prevalent in distinct business fields.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employers
are offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
job positions whereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can carry out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home via the internet for several reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
inevitably
can save money when they rely to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent on telecommuting. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about renting a large spacious building that should suffice
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
he would not be paying a large amount of money on the rent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, he would be having of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and optimize the profits when telecommuting
is taken
into consideration.
Moreover
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
can
also
save the extra expenditures he would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to cover their travelling expenses.

Secondly
, optimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
production can
also
result from telecommuting. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is constrained
within a particular working
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
, he would definitely accomplish less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, when
relatively
compared to a telecommuter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
actually has 24 hours
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
to finish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience and
accordingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his targets sooner than regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that can
be accomplished
by telecommuters could
Possible spelling mistake found.
preceed
the other employees.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
can
also
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
prolific candidates,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a regular working ambience. There are a vast
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "majorities"?
majority
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do have
Possible spelling mistake found.
exellent
qualifications.
Nevertheless
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
circumstances, they can not
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out of their homes. They could be moms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
really
have other responsibilities or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
disabilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
find it difficult to travel back and forth to their working destinations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be exquisite candidates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
jobs.
Hence
, telecommuting have facilitated the opportunity for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and proliferate.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
have
undoubtedly
benefited from offering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
the aptitude to telecommute. They have saved money,
as well
as they optimized their profits.
In addition
to this, they have opened the opportunities for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and to prove their qualifications, from which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
would be content.
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IELTS essay More employers are offering their employees the option to telecommute. Why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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