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more and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive development or negative?

In contemporary era, it has observed that trends towards wearing outfits are proliferating over each passing day. whilst some school of thoughts say that this is beneficial to follow trendy fashion, however, other reckon it negative. Though, my essay will elucidate both positive and negative facet on this account in following paragraphs. To embark, it is vividly considered that it is positive aptitude to follow traditional dressing in order to enhance confidence level. Eventually, people feel more comfortable by carrying so. Additionally, increasing awareness of fashionable clothes may be profitable for garment industry. Though, people keep update their-selves to latest trends but that account for great income for employees of apparel businesses. Consequently, it is not attractive only for people but also for retailers. Releasing seasonal collection; as an illustration, is a logical strategy of retailers to attract more potential consumers. As well as the prior season will generally sell at discount. Nevertheless, due to expansion of fashion industry, it has become a phsyclogical issue for some people who are highly possessive regarding currently traditions. As, fashion never come to end. No one can compete this. Therefore, it is unimportant than height of mentally health. Furthermore, with the increasing of tendency for fashion, it is imperative to think that; excess of money. Although, When majority of customers buy more clothes to have sense of style, it consequently, creates a huge amount of waste which is the main factor of air and ocean pollution. According to some recent studies, carbon dioxide emission steamed from out-dates clothes while recycling process which is higher than three times of burning vehicle fuel. To recapitulate, after examining plus and minus points of in-dated clothes, it can be tended people to being materialistic which is unhealthy factor for an economy. Besides, detrimental problems for society can create serious issue.
In contemporary era, it has observed that trends towards wearing outfits are proliferating over each passing day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
school of thoughts say that this is beneficial to follow trendy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
however
, other reckon it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Though, my essay will elucidate both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
facet on this account in following paragraphs.

To embark, it is
vividly
considered that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aptitude to follow traditional dressing in order to enhance confidence level.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable by carrying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Additionally
, increasing awareness of fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
may be profitable for garment industry. Though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
update their-selves to
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
trends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that account for great income for employees of apparel businesses.
Consequently
, it is not attractive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for retailers. Releasing seasonal collection; as an illustration, is a logical strategy of retailers to attract more potential consumers.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
well as the prior season will
generally
sell at discount.

Nevertheless
, due to expansion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry, it has become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
phsyclogical
issue for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
highly
possessive regarding
currently
traditions.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. No one can compete this.
Therefore
, it is unimportant than height of mentally health.
Furthermore
, with the increasing of tendency for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, it is imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that; excess of money. Although, When
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to have sense of style, it
consequently
, creates a huge amount of waste which is the main factor of air and ocean pollution. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recent studies, carbon dioxide emission steamed from out-dates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
while recycling process which is higher than three times of burning vehicle fuel.

To recapitulate, after examining plus and minus points of in-dated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, it can
be tended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to being materialistic which is unhealthy factor for an economy.
Besides
, detrimental problems for society can create serious issue.
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IELTS essay more and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive development or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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