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Money is predicated on the assumption by some that it gives us the ability to

Money is predicated on the assumption by some that it gives us the ability to 6LO50
Money is predicated on the assumption by some that it gives us the ability to posses everything in the world. I disagree with this idea and this essay will put light on several justifications why I am on the opposite side to this saying. As far as I am concerned, the attendance in workforce of people across the globe aim to save a great deal of money so that they can exchange numerous vital daily furniture and items to sustain themselves. As can be seen obviously, money enables the poor to buy food, drink to give themselves a comfort for hunger. Otherwise, companies use money to exchange the labour of employees. Though money is of great power that helps us own plenty of things, these items are just materialistic items. It means money can buy spiritual values of human beings. First of all, more and more money does not help people obtain more and more happiness. The quality of each people’s mental life does not depend on the amount of money each own, it is a process in which people seek their own hobbies, leisure pursuits, and many meaningful aspects in the life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is predicated
on the assumption by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it gives us the ability to posses everything in the world. I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and this essay will put light on several justifications why I am on the opposite side to this saying. As far as I
am concerned
, the attendance in workforce of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe aim to save a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can exchange numerous vital daily furniture and items to sustain themselves. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
obviously
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
enables the poor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food, drink to give themselves a comfort for hunger.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to exchange the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
of employees. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is of great power that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of things, these items are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
materialistic items. It means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
spiritual values of human beings.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
obtain more and more happiness. The quality of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental life does not depend on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, it is a process in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hobbies, leisure pursuits, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
meaningful aspects in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Money is predicated on the assumption by some that it gives us the ability to

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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