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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Money is better spent on eliminating poverty than on developing new technologies.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Money is better spent on eliminating poverty than on developing new technologies. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. NrW3d
Poverty always been a problem in society today and even in the past. Many of the countries are still fighting against poverty and trying to overcome it. I believe money is better spent on eliminating poverty than on developing new technologies. This will help to develop country from all the aspects and when there is no poverty we can improve our technologies afterwards. My first reason to spend money on poverty is that there are countries in which people are lacking essential things needed to live a normal life like food and cloths. This countries are very poor that they are not able to manage food for poor twice a day or a job so that they can earn money and buy something to eat and wear and get a proper shelter or home to live. For example, Liberia is a country which is second poorest country in world (2010) where people don't have proper job and places to live and eat proper food. They live in very disastrous conditions without proper food, water cloths and shelter and each year people die because of hunger and malnutrition. Another reason to spend money on poverty is that poverty also affects the educational level of that country. If people don't have money they can't send their kids to school for education which will affect the countries progress. Like in case of India, its a developing country, but in past people were illiterate and work as farmers. They don't have enough money to send their kids to school and because of lake of knowledge they have raised so many kids with the thought of more person more income. Which pushes them to more poor conditions. Other than the essential things and education poverty affects the overall economy of the country, if there are more poor people so the amount of tax money will be less for country's development. For Instance, if there are less person to earn and pay tax then government don't have enough money to provide maintenance and other facility or services which are mostly free for everyone and therefor there is no money in inventory for new inventions or technologies. In a nutshell, country will develop more if they spend money firstly on eliminating poverty than on new technologies. So it will solve the problem of lack of daily needs, education and overall country's progress and economy. So that they will have more money, more educated people, more jobs and better economy for new technologies.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poverty
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'been'.
always been
a problem in society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and even in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
still
fighting against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and trying to overcome it. I believe
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money
is better spent on eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
than on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop
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country
from all the aspects and when there is no
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poverty
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
afterwards.

My
first
reason to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lacking essential things needed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a normal life like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and cloths.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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poor
that they are not able to manage
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food
for
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poor
twice a day or a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can earn
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money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something to eat and wear and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
shelter or home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
For example
, Liberia is a
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country
which is second poorest
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country
in world (2010) where
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
job and places to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They
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live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disastrous conditions without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, water cloths and shelter and each year
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hunger and malnutrition.

Another reason to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is that
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poverty
also
affects the educational level of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. If
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people
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don't
have
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money
they can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kids to school for education which will affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
progress. Like in case of India,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a developing
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country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in past
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people
were illiterate and work as farmers. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their kids to school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lake of knowledge they have raised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of more person more income.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
pushes them to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
conditions.

Other than the essential things and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
affects the
overall
economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, if there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the amount of tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be less for country's development.
For Instance
, if there are less
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "people", "persons"?
person
to earn and pay tax then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to provide maintenance and other facility or services which are
mostly
free for everyone and therefor there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in inventory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions or technologies.

In a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will develop more if they spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
firstly
on eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will solve the problem of lack of daily needs, education and
overall
country's progress and economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, more educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, more jobs and better economy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
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IELTS essay Money is better spent on eliminating poverty than on developing new technologies. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
415 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Money is better spent on eliminating poverty than on developing new technologies.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.