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Momentarily, due to the advancement of the technology research on the cosmos has been explored drastically, which requires a large number of possessions and money.

Momentarily, due to the advancement of the technology research on the cosmos has been explored drastically, which requires a large number of possessions and money. This essay will discuss the points why, some individual opine that this type of activity is a crucial for community while, others disharmonise against this. I strongly support the former view. To begin with, the main important reason is that after doing an investigation of the cosmos on should get the knowledge of the different planets, even able to find out the details of temperature and human being availability. Moreover, doing this type of research a person can reach to different planets and make the observation regarding, whether it would be possible to leave for a mankind. For example, one of the research institute of India, ISRO is working on the project Mangal, it would be possible for the layman to live and survive at such place. Thus, after doing search scrutiny helps the country to expansion of their growth and familiarity. On the other hand, some people say that to do such investigation needs large amount of funds, so they think that this money should be spent on other things, which helps the country and society as well. Firstly, sometimes to perform such research may be failing because of any technical fault, even this will result in the loss of a large amount of fund and make the atmosphere polluted as erosion of the gas would be generated by the fuel consumption. Furthermore, this activity makes land rigid, this would not use for agriculture or civilization. Thus, some bourgeois suggest to spend such money on recreation activity which helps in the development of the community. In conclusion, exploration of the space demands the large amount of money and attention as helping in the development of the nation, while this will also create some detrimental effect on the atmosphere, but this would be managed by the government by taking prevention steps.
Momentarily
, due to the advancement of the technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
on the cosmos has
been explored
drastically
, which requires a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
number of possessions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss the points why,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean “individuals”?
individual
opine that this type of activity is a crucial for community while, others
Possible spelling mistake. ‘disharmonise’ is British English.
disharmonise
against this. I
strongly
support the former view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that after doing an investigation of the cosmos on should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the knowledge of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
planets, even able to find out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of temperature and human being availability.
Moreover
, doing this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
a person can reach to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
planets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the observation regarding, whether it would be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for a mankind.
For example
, one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
institute of India, ISRO is working on the project
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mangal
, it would be possible for the layman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and survive at such place.
Thus
, after doing search scrutiny
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the country to expansion of their growth and familiarity.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that to do such investigation needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of funds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be spent
on other things, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the country and society
as well
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to perform such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
may be failing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of any technical fault, even this will result in the loss of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of fund and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the atmosphere polluted as erosion of the gas would
be generated
by the fuel consumption.
Furthermore
, this activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
land rigid, this would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for agriculture or civilization.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bourgeois
The verb ‘suggest’ is used with the gerund form: “suggest spending”.
suggest to spend
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on recreation activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the development of the community.

In conclusion
, exploration of the space demands the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and attention as helping in the development of the nation, while this will
also
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effect on the atmosphere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this would
be managed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by taking prevention steps.
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IELTS essay Momentarily, due to the advancement of the technology research on the cosmos has been explored drastically, which requires a large number of possessions and money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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