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Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Technology is evolving at rapid pace, which has affected people’s life tremendously. Some people believe it is beneficial as people can easily interact with each other, where as other contradict by saying that it is immensely spoiling one’s cultural norms. I partially agree with the statement and the following essay will substantiate my view. Undeniably, technology has revolutionized the concept of communication. Firstly, the most significant impact is the speed, which has drastically increased. Due to electronic devices people are able to communicate with their kith and kin despite geographical boundaries. To exemplify, during this pandemic of COVID-19, where people are bound to stay at home, they can virtually meet their relative using video conferencing. In addition, it increases the efficiency of a business process by performing more tasks in less time. Telecommuting offers more flexibility which has shown to increase employee productivity. Moreover, execution and implementation of a lot of business processes has become swift and hassle-free. Technology influences everyday life and has a strong influence on culture. Although, it allows intermixing cultures, there are some drawbacks to it. Young generation tend to follow the rituals of other areas and considered their own tradition and culture extremely old-fashioned and boring. They fail to understand how such acts could drift them away from their cultural values and can lose identity. In fact, all this has happened because the invention of the internet, converting the whole world into a global village where people has been following other trends and adopting other country's norms and totally neglecting their own traditional backgrounds. For instance, languages can be intermixed and vocabulary can be changed, which poses risk to several languages. Another example is western outfits replacing the traditional Asian dresses.
Technology is evolving at rapid pace, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
tremendously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe it is beneficial as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
Did you mean “whereas”?
where as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
contradict by saying that it is
immensely
spoiling one’s cultural norms. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and the following essay will substantiate my view.

Undeniably
, technology has revolutionized the concept of communication.
Firstly
, the most significant impact is the speed, which has
drastically
increased. Due to electronic devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to communicate with their kith and kin despite geographical boundaries. To exemplify, during this pandemic of COVID-19, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bound
to stay at home, they can
virtually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their relative using video conferencing.
In addition
, it increases the efficiency of a business process by performing more tasks in less time. Telecommuting offers more flexibility which has shown to increase employee productivity.
Moreover
, execution and implementation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
business processes has become swift and hassle-free.

Technology influences everyday life and has a strong influence on culture. Although, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
intermixing cultures, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to it. Young generation tend to follow the rituals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas and considered their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tradition and culture
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned and boring. They fail to understand how such acts could drift them away from their cultural values and can lose identity. In fact, all this has happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the invention of the internet, converting the whole world into a global village where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
has
been following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
trends and adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country's norms and
totally
neglecting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional backgrounds.
For instance
, languages can
be intermixed
and vocabulary can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, which poses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to several languages. Another example is western outfits replacing the traditional Asian dresses.
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IELTS essay Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying cultures. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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