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Modern technology allows machines to perform the hard work instead of humans. Does thishave a positive or a negative effect on people? Give your own opinion and examples

Modern technology allows machines to perform the hard work instead of humans. Does thishave a positive or a negative effect on people? Give your own opinion and examples kYjae
The journey of human beings from working manually to automatic system represents the story of success. Presently, the invention of machines and equipments have made it easier to do work comfortably in every field but relying heavily over machines have some drawbacks too. Here, i would like to assert its positives outweigh negatives results. Manifold points can be put down to shore up work through machines. First and foremost, the presence of machines in medical field is lucrative to cure fatal diseases through surgical and cardiac operations. Hence, machines have uplifted standard of he. . .
The journey of human beings from working
manually
to automatic system represents the story of success.
Presently
, the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and equipments have made it easier to do work
comfortably
in every field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "relying on".
relying
heavily
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks too. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to assert its positives outweigh negatives results.

Manifold points can
be put
down to shore up work through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
First
and foremost, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in medical field is lucrative to cure fatal diseases through surgical and cardiac operations.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have uplifted standard of he.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay Modern technology allows machines to perform the hard work instead of humans. Does thishave a positive or a negative effect on people? Give your own opinion and examples

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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