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Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages? NEx0
Specialized fields of education is more popular nowadays. Some believe that students who intend to enter into such fields of study should be funded by government and those who follow other subjects should be self-funded. In my opinion although, this may increase social disparity, the benefits to the individuals and society are far outweigh the minor drawbacks. Government funding for one educational sector make other sectors unpopular. Free education policies are obviously more attractive and many students make their effort to reap that benefits by choosing such subject areas to study. This surely discourages other fields of education irrespective of their importance to the society. For example, many governments encourage health education and make necessary funding to promote such sector, so that demand for higher education in Engineering, Law and Management decreases. As a result while health sector of the country become well equipped with human resources, other sectors will be deteriorated. Despite this issue, I believe that pay more attention on high demanded sectors are extreamly reasonable. Opportunity given for those who passionate in a particular field of study is utterly benefit for that sector. In other words, most of the time one who like to specialized in one subject, will not be able to persue his or her dreams because of higher university charges. For example, Times Education Report shows that many Australian students select to study their second choice when it comes to course selection at the university because their first choice of study, which is “Medicine” is unaffordable. Hence, such policies that motivate students to enter into high demanded career paths are advantageous to both the individual and the society. Therefore, I believe that educational funding for single area is more benefitial. In conclusion, although sponsoring for particular subjects may escalate gaps in the job market, chances given to poor but excellent students to educate in their passionate field are far more valuable. Hence, it is recommended to continue such policies while minimizing minor detrimental effects.
Specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more popular nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
intend to enter into such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
should
be funded
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be self-funded. In my opinion although, this may increase social disparity, the benefits to the individuals and society are far outweigh the minor drawbacks.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
funding for one educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
unpopular. Free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
policies are
obviously
more attractive and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their effort to reap that benefits by choosing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This
surely
discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
irrespective of their importance to the society.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
encourage health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
necessary funding to promote such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that demand for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in Engineering, Law and Management decreases.
As a result
while health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
of the country become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
with human resources,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
will
be deteriorated
. Despite this issue, I believe that pay more attention on high demanded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
extreamly
reasonable.

Opportunity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
passionate in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
utterly
benefit for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, most of the time one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to specialized in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, will not be able to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of higher university charges.
For example
, Times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Report
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
select to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
their second choice when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to course selection at the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
first
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, which is “Medicine” is unaffordable.
Hence
, such policies that motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enter into high demanded career paths are advantageous to both the individual and the society.
Therefore
, I believe that educational funding for single area is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitial
.

In conclusion
, although sponsoring for particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
may escalate gaps in the job market, chances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to educate in their passionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
are far more valuable.
Hence
, it
is recommended
to continue such policies while minimizing minor detrimental effects.
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IELTS essay Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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