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Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered? r8eKn
Nowadays, children are getting diagnosed with diseases which use to happen to adults such as obesity. The main causes of this health problem is bad diet and unhealthy lifestyle. The solutions which are suggested are balanced diet and playing more sports. The main problems causing obesity are eating junk food and living sedentary lifestyle. In modern society, children are attracted towards fast food and prefer to have it on daily basis which creates deficiency of required nutrients in the body and lead to storage of fat in their body. In addition to this, children spend most of the their time playing games on mobile phones which results in little movement and more sitting. These practices are affecting the children and causing obesity among them. The solution to avoid this disease can be eating healthy food and including more sports in daily routine. Eating balanced diet will enrich body and provide necessary nutrients. Also, playing sports daily can help in getting active which can help in burning the unrequired fat in the body. By implying these changes, the issue of obesity can be tackled among children. Obesity is becoming popular among children of modern society which earlier use to affect only adults. The main problems discussed are unhealthy food and inactive lifestyle. These problems can be resolved by including healthy food in daily meals and playing sports regularly.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting diagnosed with diseases which
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
happen to adults such as obesity. The main causes of this health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
diet and unhealthy lifestyle. The solutions which
are suggested
are balanced
diet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
more sports.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
causing obesity are eating junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and living sedentary lifestyle. In modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attracted
towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and prefer to have it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis which creates deficiency of required nutrients in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and lead to storage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their time" or "the time"?
the their time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
games on mobile phones which results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
movement and more sitting. These practices are affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and causing obesity among them.

The solution to avoid this disease can be eating healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and including more sports in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
routine. Eating balanced diet will enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and provide necessary nutrients.
Also
,
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playing
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in getting active which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in burning the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrequired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. By implying these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the issue of obesity can
be tackled
among children.

Obesity is becoming popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of modern society which earlier
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
adults. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
discussed are unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and inactive lifestyle. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be resolved
by including healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
meals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
sports
regularly
.
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IELTS essay Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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