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Many young people work straight after their graduation from high schools. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

Many young people work straight after their graduation from high schools. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. JVYQk
It is true that many high school graduates start working instead of continuing their studies. While this trend has many benefits, there are also some drawbacks which are worth considering. On the one hand, working straight after school brings a lot of advantages to young people. Firstly, they can get experiences and practical skills such as time management, flexibility or leadership. Some of these skills and experiences are difficult to achieve during university education. For example, if you work in a restaurant, you will gain excellent customer service skills. Secondly, young people are able to earn money earlier so that they can independently live on their own income without depending on their parents. Another benefit is that working after high school can be a better choice for people who are unable to afford tuition and living expenses during university life because they come from troubled lives. On the other hand, young people may face some possible disadvantages when they direct work after their graduation from school. A major drawback is that they can get lower wages for their employment because of lower educational status. Moreover, it will possibly be difficult for them to find and work in specialized jobs which require a high academic qualification. An additional disadvantage is that as high school graduates are young people with insufficient life experience, they may struggle to cope with problems arising during the working process, thus getting stressful and easy to give up. In conclusion, there are many advantages to getting a job straight after graduation, but this trend can also lead to some difficulties.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
instead
of continuing their studies. While this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which are worth considering.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
straight after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experiences and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as time management, flexibility or leadership.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experiences are difficult to achieve during university education.
For example
, if you work in a restaurant, you will gain excellent customer service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to earn money earlier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
independently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
income without depending on their parents. Another benefit is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be a better choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are unable to afford tuition and living expenses during university life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from troubled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible disadvantages when they direct work after their graduation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. A major drawback is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lower wages for their employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lower educational status.
Moreover
, it will
possibly
be difficult for them to find and work in specialized jobs which require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
academic qualification. An additional disadvantage is that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with insufficient life experience, they may struggle to cope with problems arising during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
process,
thus
getting stressful and easy to give up.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to getting a job straight after graduation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend can
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties.
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IELTS essay Many young people work straight after their graduation from high schools. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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