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Many teenagers have their own smartphones. Does this situition have more advantages than disadvantages.

Many teenagers have their own smartphones. Does this situition have more advantages than disadvantages. g5QkA
Many youngsters own cell phones. The disadvantages of having a cell phone are an increase in screen time and health-related issues for teenagers. Whereas the advantages of owning a cell phone are convenience to connect with them and the adolescents get easy access to online educational material. In my opinion, for teenagers to have smartphones is more advantageous rather than disadvantageous. The disadvantages associated with adolescents having their cellphones are excessive screen time and detrimental effects on the health of teenagers. As smartphones have a variety of functions and there are plenty of things to do like playing games, chatting with friends, and watching movies that make the youngsters spend extended hours using their phones. While doing so, they often ignore their studies and stop playing outdoors. Additionally, using smartphones for a longer duration can damage the eyesight of teenagers and negatively affect their concentration levels. For example, a recent study published in an internal medicine journal in Pakistan showed that children and adolescents who use smartphones for more than 3 hours a day lose focus on studies due to a short attention span. Although there are drawbacks of smartphone usage, I believe, the advantages are graver than the disadvantages. The main advantages of allowing teenagers to keep smartphones are easy connectivity and availability of a wide range of online books and other study material. These days, teenagers go to school, attend tuition academies or visit their friends without an adult accompanying them, it is very important to have the means to connect with them as needed and cell phones are the best option for that. Moreover, students can access any book, article, and past examination questions with just one click on the cellphones. For instance, digital libraries are becoming more popular among all age groups as compared to traditional libraries because online libraries are convenient and time-saving. In my opinion, students can be benefitted from these online libraries anytime if they have their cellphones. In conclusion, although smartphones lead to excessive screentime and negative effects on health, I think, the convenience and availability of huge educational material within a few seconds is far more important than the drawbacks of teenagers having personal smartphones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. The disadvantages of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are an increase in screen time and health-related issues for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. Whereas the advantages of owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are convenience to connect with them and the adolescents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easy access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
educational material. In my opinion, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to have smartphones is more advantageous
rather
than disadvantageous.

The disadvantages associated with adolescents having their cellphones are excessive screen time and detrimental effects on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. As smartphones have a variety of functions and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of things to do like playing games, chatting with friends, and watching movies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the youngsters spend extended hours using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. While doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
playing outdoors.
Additionally
, using smartphones for a longer duration can damage the eyesight of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and
negatively
affect their concentration levels.
For example
, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
published in an internal medicine journal in Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that children and adolescents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones for more than 3 hours a day lose focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
due to a short attention span. Although there are drawbacks of smartphone usage, I believe, the advantages are graver than the disadvantages.

The main advantages of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
smartphones are easy connectivity and availability of a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
books and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
material. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
go to school, attend tuition academies or visit their friends without an adult accompanying them, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have the means to connect with them as needed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the best option for that.
Moreover
, students can access any book, article, and past examination questions with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click on the cellphones.
For instance
, digital libraries are becoming more popular among all age groups as compared to traditional libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
libraries are convenient and time-saving. In my opinion, students can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
libraries anytime if they have their cellphones.

In conclusion
, although smartphones lead to excessive
Possible spelling mistake found.
screentime
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on health, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the convenience and availability of huge educational material within a few seconds is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
having personal smartphones.
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IELTS essay Many teenagers have their own smartphones. Does this situition have more advantages than disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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