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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? gXV7
Nowadays, most of the students are more on practical and they thought ahead before getting stress and pressure when they enter university life. Some went to other places and explore, others find a job for experience in a certain year. I would agree with this notion, and it will give advantages of the person before jumping into a new chapter. Firstly, after finishing secondary education, many students want to breathe for a while and think before choosing which path they would take, through that many people went abroad and explore places. For example, in Europe, most of the students went to Asia to experienced culture and explore the wonderful nature. This could help them look for a new perspective and appreciate life before getting into a serious study. When they got home, there's a clear goal of what they need to do. Secondly, some students prefer to work for a while before starting university life. Having a job experience will help the student to be more motivated and pursue their dream and they can save money by receiving their own salary. For instance, instead of relaying their parent, they could get a job for a year and save some money for their education. Therefore, they are no longer dependent on their family of paying their expenses or buying their wants. In conclusion, there are good effects if a student will travel or work within a gap before entering a university. It could help them choose their own journey and change their perspective in life
Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practical and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
ahead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure when they enter university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
went to other places and explore, others find a job for experience in a certain year. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion, and it will give advantages of the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
jumping into a new chapter.

Firstly
, after finishing secondary education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to breathe for a while and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
choosing which path they would take, through that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went abroad and explore places.
For example
, in Europe, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
went to Asia to experienced culture and explore the wonderful nature. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them look for a new perspective and appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
getting into a serious study. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
home, there's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goal of what they need to do.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to work for a while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
starting university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Having a job experience will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to be more motivated and pursue their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dream and
they can save money by receiving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
salary.
For instance
,
instead
of relaying their parent, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job for a year and save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for their education.
Therefore
, they are no longer dependent on their family of paying their expenses or buying their wants.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effects if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will travel or work within a gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
entering a university. It could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
journey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their perspective in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life
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IELTS essay Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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