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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? 5VnB
It is often argued that, those students who take a free year after their secondary studies is it beneficial for scholars to gain some work experience and for travelling. However, i believe that it should be positive effect on children's mind for selecting a new and interested stream and helpful to collect money to pay off their study expenses to become independent. To commence with, in schools mostly students do their home work nd do not know which higher education is beneficial for them. So, if students get a gap year it helpful for them to recognise their interested topics. To explicate it, school life depends on home work assignments project. Tutor busing in giving lectures regarding studies, but does not focus on scholars favourite students as well as which is useful for them to further studies. Proper future studies preparation guides are not provided by schools. If they go for travelling or visit several culture people they develop new interest in studies, that may be useful for pupils to choose best stream for education. For example, a survey was conducted in USA, it showed that 12 out of 15 schools took gap before commencing their studies. Hence, it developed their skills or become aware about their interest. Furthermore, in today's world it has more benefits for scholars to take free year, because higher studies are more expensive these days. So, some people prefer to do some job to collect money for meet with educational expenses. Additionally, that can make scholars independent and fully confident. For instance, international students often take gape year to collect expenses of other year study, it build them even more self independent and does not give trouble to parents for such expenditure. Thus, to do a job in a gap year is useful for childrens before entering into college or university. To conclude that, i believe that gap year is beneficial for students to know about their interest in subjects and aware them to know about importance of work and become an independent.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who take a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after their secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is it beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and for travelling.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that it should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on children's mind for selecting a new and interested stream and helpful to collect money to pay off their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
expenses to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
. To commence with, in
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schools
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
nd
do not know which higher education is beneficial for them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
helpful for them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
their interested topics. To explicate it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life depends on home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
assignments project. Tutor busing in giving lectures regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
does not focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
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students
as well
as which is useful for them to
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. Proper future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
preparation guides are not provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. If they go for travelling or visit several culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they develop new interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, that may be useful for pupils to choose best stream for education.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 12 out of 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
took
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gap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commencing their
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studies
.
Hence
, it developed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or become aware about their interest.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world it has more benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
to take free
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year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
are more expensive these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
job to collect money for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with educational expenses.
Additionally
, that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scholars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and
fully
confident.
For instance
, international
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take gape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
to collect expenses of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, it
Did you mean "builds"?
build
them even more self
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and does not give trouble to parents for such expenditure.
Thus
, to do a job in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is useful for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering into college or university.
To conclude
that,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to know about their interest in subjects and aware them to know about importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and become an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
.
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IELTS essay Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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