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Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. To what extent do you think crime is determined by human nature？ Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals. bqM3
It is a common belief that it is impossible to stop children growing up to be criminals, however I firmly believe that there are ways to prevent kids to crime in the future. On the one hand, according to reasearchs which prove that humans’ behaviour can be affected by various external factors, such as people around you or the environment, therefore, I trust that childrend can be educated which provide opporunities for them to get exposed to correct values which anable them to have the abilities to identitify right or wrong. They will consiquenly have a deep thought before doing something which will break the law in the future. Moreover, children’s mind are simple and pure, for example they will be excited and thankful even if they only get a candy. So, why will you think that these lovely and adorable children will become crimials when they become adults? I believe the experiences that someone have gone through will lead to the alterations of their personalities which finally caused them doing something unacceptiable in the future. On the other hand, some believe you will be able to know that child, who is just three year old, will become a crimina after a few decadesl. First, you will be able to notice children doing something wrong since they are small, for instance they will make a mess in order to catch their parents attentation or they will steal from their parents without anyone telling them to do so, which means children are born to have those kinds of bad throughts, while these throughts will become bigger when they are older. Also, everyone are known to have different characters while parts of them were formed since they are born, therefore if someone are born to have a relatively negative character, he may become the one who crime in the future. In conclusion, despite opposing views, I still firmly believe that crime are not what human natually do, since all the reasons or behaviours that caused childrens become crimals can be change by education or providing enough love and care to the childrens to prvent them from walking towards a wrong direction.
It is a common belief that it is impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up to be criminals,
however
I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
kids to crime in the future.

On the one hand, according to
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reasearchs
which prove that humans’
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by various external factors, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around you or the environment,
therefore
, I trust that
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrend
can
be educated
which provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
opporunities
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to correct values which
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anable
them to have the abilities to
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identitify
right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. They will
Possible spelling mistake found.
consiquenly
have a deep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing something which will break the law in the future.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mind are simple and pure,
for example
they will
be excited
and thankful even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a candy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, why will you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these lovely and adorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
crimials
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
adults? I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the experiences that someone have gone through will lead to the alterations of their personalities which
finally
caused them doing something
Possible spelling mistake found.
unacceptiable
in the future.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
you will be able to know that child, who is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
three year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, will
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become
a
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crimina
after a few
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decadesl
.
First
, you will be able to notice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
doing something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
since they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
,
for instance
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mess in order to catch their parents
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
attentation or
they will steal from their parents without anyone telling them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are born
to have those kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake found.
throughts
, while these
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throughts
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
bigger when they are older.
Also
, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
known to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
characters while parts of them
were formed
since they
are born
,
therefore
if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
born to have a
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
character, he may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the one who crime in the future.

In conclusion
, despite opposing views, I
still
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that crime are not what human
Possible spelling mistake found.
natually
do, since all the reasons or
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that caused
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
crimals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
by education or providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
to
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prvent
them from walking towards a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction.
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IELTS essay Many scientists believe that now we can study the behavior of a three-year-old child to see whether they will grow up to be criminals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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