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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem? ymVd
Almost 30 countries sign a petition to end a malnutrition, however, the crucial problems remain happening. Despite of the improvement made in agricultural, people remain starving. Why this problem still happening, is that existing factors occurred differently in each country. Several reasons cannot be denied, for example, the poverty on its country, lack of access, inequity, and the source problem is that the main outcome of a country is not agriculture. Nevertheless, these can be tackle down by numerous strategies, although it is quite challenging, To commence, the biggest reasons why do people suffer from starve is that its country does not focus or even does not have any agricultural income. It is resulted to import the product from other country. However, importing does not the answer of this problems. The government requires to distribute the food so people can consume it. In Africa, for instance, lack of access is a crucial problem for distributing food. As people live in a village far from the city, it cannot be denied that the transportation is not an easy thing to found. As it cannot distributed equally to the remote area, those people cannot consume it. In addition, the poverty also plays a big part of malnutrition. Since people cannot afford the pricey meal, the needs cannot be fulfilled. In order to solve this problems, it is necessary for the government to raise awareness towards the hunger case. First, the government should price the agricultural income cheaper so the low income community can afford it to reduce inequity. Besides, providing a transportation to the remote are so that the outcome can be deliver throughout the area. In conclusion, I believe that the source of malnutrition can still be found in developing country because of its poverty, lack of access, and inequity. However, strategies such as cheapening the agricultural outcome and open a new road for transport the food is also required to reduce malnutrition.
Almost 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
a petition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malnutrition
,
however
, the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
remain happening.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the improvement made in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remain starving. Why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
still
happening, is that existing factors occurred
differently
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Several reasons cannot
be denied
,
for example
, the poverty on its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, lack of access, inequity, and the source
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that the main outcome of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not agriculture.
Nevertheless
, these can be tackle down by numerous strategies, although it is quite challenging,

To commence, the biggest reasons why do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from starve is that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not focus or even does not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
income. It
is resulted
to import the product from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, importing does not the answer of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
requires to distribute the food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can consume it. In Africa,
for instance
, lack of access is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for distributing food. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a village far from the city, it cannot
be denied
that the transportation is not an easy thing to found. As it cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "distribute"
distributed
equally
to the remote area, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot consume it.
In addition
, the poverty
also
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malnutrition
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford the pricey meal, the needs cannot
be fulfilled
.

In order to solve
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, it is necessary for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to raise awareness towards the hunger case.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should price the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
income cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the low income community can afford it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
inequity.
Besides
, providing a transportation to the remote are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the outcome can be
Consider using the past participle "delivered"?
deliver
throughout the area.

In conclusion
, I believe that the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malnutrition
can
still
be found
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its poverty, lack of access, and inequity.
However
, strategies such as cheapening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agricultural
outcome and open a new road for transport the food is
also
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malnutrition
.
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IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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