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In this contemporary era, obesity has become a major concern among people.

In this contemporary era, obesity has become a major concern among people. Some people believe that sports must be included in the tertiary education system. I strongly agree with this argument that sports should be made mandatory in colleges in order to make our younger generation healthier and more efficient. One good reason to make sports compulsory is that students can achieve the minimum requirements / dose of their daily exercise at their college itself. Exercise / physical activity is indispensable for their overall health and academic performance. For example, a recent study revealed that students who play sports in their colleges are smarter and more active in their studies. If children follow all the rules and regulations of games, they become more disciplined in their lives as well. Furthermore, students after graduating from these colleges tend to perform their job duties with discipline and show maximum efficiency at workplace. Another positive outcome of mandatory sporting activities in the college curriculum is that this leads to fewer health problems among children. As a result of regular exercise, they tend to have stronger muscles and a healthy mind which makes them immune to disease carrying germs and other ailments like heart trouble, diabetes and obesity. Additionally, when young people engage in physical activity, their parents may also get motivated to exercise. Therefore, the whole society will benefit from this move. In conclusion, the problem of overweight is a serious issue which can be effectively controlled by adding compulsory sport classes in all the college degrees. Playing games not only makes the youngsters physically healthy but also fosters the right attitude and mindset in them.
In this contemporary era, obesity has become a major concern among
people
.
Some
people
believe that
sports
must
be included
in the tertiary education system. I
strongly
agree
with this argument that
sports
should
be made
mandatory in colleges in order to
make
our younger generation healthier and more efficient.

One
good
reason to
make
sports
compulsory is that students can achieve the minimum requirements / dose of their daily
exercise
at their college itself.
Exercise
/ physical activity is indispensable for their
overall
health and academic performance.
For example
, a recent study revealed that students who play
sports
in their colleges are smarter and more active in their studies. If children follow all the
rules
and regulations of games, they become more disciplined in their
lives
as well
.
Furthermore
, students after graduating from these colleges tend to perform their job duties with discipline and
show
maximum efficiency at workplace.

Another
positive
outcome of mandatory sporting activities in the college curriculum is that this leads to fewer health problems among children.
As a result
of regular
exercise
, they tend to have stronger muscles and a healthy mind which
makes
them immune to disease carrying germs and other ailments like heart trouble, diabetes and obesity.
Additionally
, when young
people
engage in physical activity, their parents may
also
get
motivated to
exercise
.
Therefore
, the whole society will benefit from this
move
.

In conclusion
, the problem of overweight is a serious issue which can be
effectively
controlled by adding compulsory
sport
classes in all the college degrees. Playing games not
only
makes
the youngsters
physically
healthy
but
also
fosters the right attitude and mindset in them.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary era, obesity has become a major concern among people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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