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Many people think that television is a good thing because it makes their lives more interesting and enjoyable. do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that television is a good thing because it makes their lives more interesting and enjoyable. m8GRn
Nowadays, television become popular in most countries and people think of TV as a good thing due to the fact that it make their daily lives more interesting and enjoyable. I completely agree with this and I will state the reasons for my view in this essay. The most compelling reason for this is that people can watch any kinds of entertainments on TV after they have worked for long hours. Since most of the working-adult lives are filled with stress and anxiety, by watching the exciting films or movies on TV is one of the ways to relax their minds. For example, if a household in modern country does not have a TV and nothing to do after a dinner, a person who is living in that house might getting bored. In addition, the price of a television are getting cheaper nowadays and everyone is able to purchase one. Another reason for support of my view is that there are several educational programs which are available on most of the national television channels. That is one of the reasons why people are spending so much times in front of the television. Some of the documentaries are not only giving valuable information but also leaving useful thoughts and knowledge to the audience. For instance, there is a channel called "RCTV 99" in which they have broadcasted about the lives of people who are living in the villages as well as in the big cities. As a result, the audience could realize and compare with their lives and they might as well enjoy their own lives. In conclusion, I totally agree with the fact that TV has become part of our lives as they have a plethora of programs that make a person lives more interesting and enjoyable. Given that situation, it is necessary that we should have not only televisions but also to enjoy some of the interesting programs which have been broadcasted.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
become popular in most countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of TV as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing due to the fact that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
more interesting and enjoyable. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this and I will state the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for my view in this essay.

The most compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any kinds of entertainments on TV after they have worked for long hours. Since most of the working-adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are filled
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety, by watching the exciting films or movies on TV is one of the ways to relax their minds.
For example
, if a household in modern country does not have a TV and nothing to do after a dinner, a person who is living in that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
might getting bored.
In addition
, the price of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are getting cheaper nowadays and everyone is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
one.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for support of my view is that there are several educational programs which are available on most of the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels.
That is
one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
times in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
documentaries are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving valuable information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leaving useful thoughts and knowledge to the audience.
For instance
, there is a channel called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
RCTV 99
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in which they have broadcasted about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in the villages
as well
as in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
As a result
, the audience could realize and compare with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they might
as well
enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
totally
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
TV has become part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
as they have a plethora of programs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
more interesting and enjoyable.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that situation, it is necessary that we should have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to enjoy
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
interesting programs which have
been broadcasted
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that television is a good thing because it makes their lives more interesting and enjoyable.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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