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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. PaYJ
There are number of people argue that for having a good job it is prominent to graduate from university. While there are other groups of people claim that it is better to start work after school I believe university education has a significant place on children life to getting a good job. Nowadays, there are various youngsters that have dream about good and well-qualified life. For having a good life the good job is priority aim of the children. Firstly, study in university is the way to guarantee them to achieve the life that their desire. For example, higher education helps them to discover their talents on different courses. The student that study engineering could find he or she interest s in purchasing or management departments. That mean's when he or she graduate could find a job in both related areas. Secondly, university education is not consist on courses it also makes a colorful environment to students to make new friendship. For instance, after finishing university this friendship could helps to find a good job. As a result the university is not the place only for education it also appropriate area for human relationship. According to my knowledge, work and gain experience after school in early age might help to youngsters to achieve their desire life in a short way. For instance, they can buy a car or mobile phone without waiting a long time. However, they could not become a qualified professional such as an engineer or a doctor. The people who prefer to work after school most probably would be a car mechanic or typical worker. Another side is, the experience that children gain in their job has a limit. For example, while students learn in distinctive fields many things, others only learn specific field that chosen as a job. As a consequence, the people that choose to work without going to university could not work with a qualified professional employer. In conclusion, for getting a good job it is better to have a higher education instead of work in an unqualified job.
There are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that for having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it is prominent to graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. While there are other groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after school I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has a significant place on children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Nowadays, there are various youngsters that have dream about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and well-qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is priority aim of the children.
Firstly
, study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the way to guarantee them to achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that their desire.
For example
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to discover their talents on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses. The student that study engineering could find he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "interests", "interested".
interest
s in purchasing or management departments. That
Consider using the plural form here: "means".
mean's
when he or she graduate could find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in both related areas.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not
Consider using a past participle here: "consisted".
consist
on courses it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a colorful environment to students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friendship.
For instance
, after finishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
this friendship could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "help"
helps
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
As a result
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not the place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
it
also
Did you mean "appropriates"?
appropriate
area for human relationship. According to my knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and gain experience after school in early age might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to youngsters to achieve their desire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Consider replacing "in a short way" with the adverb for "short"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a short way
.
For instance
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car or mobile phone without waiting a long time.
However
, they could not become a qualified professional such as an engineer or a doctor. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after school most
probably
would be a car mechanic or typical worker. Another side is, the experience that children gain in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has a limit.
For example
, while students learn in distinctive fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn specific field that chosen as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with a qualified professional employer.
In conclusion
, for getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it is better to have a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in an unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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