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Many people regularly change their jobs over the years. Is it advantages out of disadvantages?

Many people regularly change their jobs over the years. Is it advantages out of disadvantages? 7PO15
The work plays a vital role in our lives to help fulfill our basic priorities. However, there are several youngsters who frequently changed their works over the period. Here, I will explain me merits of changing jobs after certain times in further paragraphs. To begin with, there is an abundance of reasons behind why most people shifted their jobs over the years. The prime one is that they can receive luxurious benefits. To elaborate, the citizens have obtained lucrative and splendid offers when they move on to another jobs such as handsome salaries, bonuses, and incentives, etc. The individual is motivated by providing these kinds of attractive offers. Hence, it will be helped them by making their families dream true. For example, The Times of India exposed that the jobs have been replaced by getting excellent benefits from the other companies. Furthermore, there is a plethora of reasons behind why mankind wants to change their regular jobs. They have made target to get vast experience about their field jobs because it makes them more creative and knowledgeable to face any challenges in their life. Consequently, may it will aid them to reach the top position by using their courage and experience, and skills, etc. For instance, The New York Magazine research displayed about sugar Pichai because he has huge experienced about his field works, as a result, he is appointed as CEO by Google owner. On the other hand, there is also having some negative result about shifting jobs over the years. It may harm their personality because they moved to other jobs within the short time period as well as they do not get much if they changed their work in short period. Therefore, it might release the worse impact on them and makes chance to end their career. To conclude, every circumstance has two sides, but it has depended on persona tendency and capability how they used it. I recommended that people changes their jobs wisely and confidently. It will assist them to receive that life which they want it.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
plays a vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fulfill our basic priorities.
However
, there are several youngsters who
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their works over the period. Here, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
me merits of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after certain times in
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is an abundance of reasons behind why most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shifted their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
over the years. The prime one is that they can receive luxurious benefits. To elaborate, the citizens have obtained lucrative and splendid offers when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as handsome salaries, bonuses, and incentives, etc. The individual
is motivated
by providing these kinds of attractive offers.
Hence
, it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them by making their families dream true.
For example
, The Times of India exposed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have
been replaced
by getting excellent benefits from the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

Furthermore
, there is a plethora of reasons behind why mankind wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They have made target to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vast experience about their field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more creative and knowledgeable to face any challenges in their life.
Consequently
, may it will aid them to reach the top position by using their courage and experience, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, etc.
For instance
, The New York Magazine research displayed about sugar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pichai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has huge experienced about his field works,
as a result
, he
is appointed
as CEO by Google owner.

On the other hand
, there is
also
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
result about shifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
over the years. It may harm their personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
within the short time period
as well
as they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in short period.
Therefore
, it might release the worse impact on them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their career.

To conclude
, every circumstance has two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has depended on persona tendency and capability how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it. I recommended that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
changes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
wisely
and
confidently
. It will assist them to receive that life which they want it.
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IELTS essay Many people regularly change their jobs over the years. Is it advantages out of disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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