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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? 1pGX

There are many who claim hosting the Olympics unproductively diverts money from more essential areas. In my opinion, despite these valid objections, there is still great value in the unifying impact of the Olympics. Critics argue there are urgent needs that should be prioritised over a sporting event. This applies to every nation but particularly developing ones. For example, the Olympics in Brazil in 2016 led to mass unrest and protests as locals felt too much money was being spent on the event and not enough on helping to alleviate worsening conditions among underprivileged segments of society. The government could have instead improved the infrastructure used by millions daily, invested more in education, or built more hospitals. These allocations of the federal budget would not only serve an immediate purpose but also have a longer lasting effect than the Olympics. Nonetheless, most Olympic games are sponsored by developed nations and they occur very rarely which justifies their efforts to unify. The countries competing in the Olympics often have fraught international relationships and competition can counter-intuitively decrease tensions. Supporters may root against other countries at specific instances, such as when watching a football match, but they are united in their love of sports and the shared viewing experience. This has the subtle but powerful unconscious result of fostering greater empathy between diverse ethnic and national groups. When an individual roots for their country and their athletes, and sees other individuals partaking in the same ritual, they will realise that association within a larger tribe is an essential, common human trait. In conclusion, despite the seemingly inefficient allocation of funds, the Olympics are a mass, cooperative effort that has tremendous value. Therefore, countries should consider hosting the games a great honor.

There are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 who claim hosting the Olympics unproductively
 diverts money from more essential areas. In my opinion, despite these valid objections, there is still
 great value in the unifying impact of the Olympics.

Critics argue there are urgent needs that should be Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.prioritized
prioritised
 over a sporting This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
. This This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :is applicable to
applies to
 every nation This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
particularly
 developing ones. For example
, the Olympics in Brazil in 2016 led to mass unrest and protests as locals felt too much money was being spent
 on the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
 and not This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 on helping to alleviate worsening conditions among underprivileged segments of society. The This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritypublic authority
government
 could have instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorated
improved
 the infrastructure This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploited
used
 by millions daily, invested more in education, or built more hospitals. These allocations of the federal budget would not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 serve an immediate purpose This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
also
 have a longer lasting effect than the Olympics.

Nonetheless, most If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.Olympic Games
Olympic games
are sponsored
 by developed Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).nations, and
nations and
 they occur This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 rarely which justifies their efforts to unify. The You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlandpeopleregioncommunitysocietystate
countries
 competing in the Olympics This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:frequently
often
 have fraught international relationships and competition can counter-intuitively
 decrease tensions. Supporters may root against other You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlandpeopleregioncommunitysocietystate
countries
 at specific instances, such as when watching a football match, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 they are united
 in their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :admireadore
love
 of sports and the shared viewing experience. This has the subtle This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 powerful unconscious result of fostering greater empathy between diverse ethnic and national groups. When an individual roots for their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withrusticbucolichomeyagrarianprovincial
country
 and their athletes, and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnesses
sees
 other individuals partaking in the same ritual, they will Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.realize
realise
 that association within a larger tribe is an essential, common human trait.

In conclusion
, despite the seemingly
 inefficient allocation of funds, the Olympics are a mass, cooperative effort that has tremendous value. Therefore
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlandpeopleregioncommunitysocietystate
countries
 should consider hosting the games a great honor. 