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many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? do you think this is a positive or negative development? 3l5N
Nowadays a number of individuals and spend a large proportion of their spare time using a smartphone. on balance, I do not think this is a positive trend. in my opinion, it has a diverse effect on people. on one hand, using a smartphone is widespread in the word. so, it has a bad effect on the relationship with the human. for example, in the past, the members of families spend their free time together. therefore, they were Close-knit families. but, using the relationship between households is spoiled by using a smartphone in free time. on the other hand, video games, the internet and smartphone are used as leisure time. individuals don't have physical activity, this has a bad influence on Heaths care. for example, on the most health problem is obesity which due to a lack of movement. to conclude with the arguments given above, I firmly believe that using a smartphone in free time is a really bad influence on people
Nowadays a number of individuals and spend a large proportion of their spare
time
using a smartphone.
on
balance, I do not
think
this is a
positive
trend.
in
my opinion, it has a diverse effect on
people
.
on
one hand, using a smartphone is widespread in the word.
so
, it has a
bad
effect on the relationship with the human.
for
example, in the past, the members of families spend their free
time
together.
therefore
, they were Close-knit families.
but
, using the relationship between households
is spoiled
by using a smartphone in free
time
.
on
the other hand, video games, the internet and smartphone are
used
as leisure
time
.
individuals
don't have physical activity, this has a
bad
influence on Heaths care.
for
example, on the most health problem is obesity which due to a lack of movement.
to
conclude with the arguments
given
above, I
firmly
believe that using a smartphone in free
time
is a
really
bad
influence on
people
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IELTS essay many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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