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Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

In this modern world people are addicted with automation and technology, so they mostly watching the animal videos on tv or you tube. This caused people slowly avoid to feel the real experience. Individuals are thinking that instead of visiting the zoos we can watch animals in mobile phone or laptop. Also, some private organization are protested for animals freedom and they don’t want to lock the animals in the cell, so they are demanding the government to close the zoos. In some zoos, which is located in rural areas, animals are not treated properly and they are not getting food when needed, respectively animals from the zoos which is located inside the developed city some times getting out to the zoo and comes in to the city which is very danger to the public. In my point of view, alternative option for zoo is, government has to make a video documentary for the wild animals and make a availability for people to witness it.
In this modern world
people
are addicted
with automation and technology,
so
they
mostly
watching the
animal
videos on
tv or
you tube
. This caused
people
slowly
avoid to feel
the real experience. Individuals are thinking that
instead
of visiting the zoos we can
watch
animals
in mobile phone or laptop.
Also
,
some
private organization
are protested
for
animals
freedom and
they don’t want to lock the
animals
in the cell,
so
they are demanding the
government
to close the zoos.

In
some
zoos, which
is located
in rural areas,
animals
are not treated
properly and
they are not getting food when needed,
respectively
animals
from the zoos which
is located
inside the developed city
some
times getting out to the zoo and
comes
in to the city which is
very
danger
to the public.

In my point of view, alternative option for zoo is,
government
has to
make
a video documentary for the wild
animals
and
make
a
availability for
people
to witness it.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
165 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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