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Many people believe that the age of shopping malls is coming to an end, soon online shopping will completely replace retail stores. Explain the reasons for this and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that the age of shopping malls is coming to an end, soon online shopping will completely replace retail stores. Explain the reasons for this and give your own opinion. g51q7
With the advent of the Internet, people gained the opportunity to purchase their products and services via the computer. On-the-web commerce is now a highly lucrative business and is valued in the billions of dollars annually. This phenomenon is having a major impact on the traditional way of making purchases, which is, in my opinion an advantageous tendency since online shopping is both time-saving and more convenient. Aside from finding cheap deals and avoiding the crowds, there is a plethora of reasons to do shopping online rather than on the high street. The amount of time and energy involved in purchasing products and services online is often significantly less than that which is needed to go to physical shops. In certain instances, it takes several days to find the right merchandise, but nowadays all you need is to have an access to online stores, like Amazon or EBay, search by name, click a product and make payment. Never before have goods been as instantly available as in internet-based shops, many of which provide overnight delivery and customer-friendly return policies. For example, for my mother’s last birthday, I bought a fancy dress online. I can say, using the Internet for this acquisition empowered me to relish my laid-back experience when any item I wish to buy is accessible with just a click or two. As a result, it would be no exaggeration to say that online shopping is also stress-free, which is essential for modern society. Yet another merit of buying online is that internet-based shopping is often significantly cost-efficient. Since online stores often sell products directly from the manufacturer, and they do not need to pay for a rent, and therefore, they can sell their products cheaper by as much as 50%. In addition, they also provide customers with discounts for next purchases and offer direct mail advertising with the information of new sales monthly. Moreover, online stores enable customers to review dozens of different goods and compare them before settling on the final purchase. This simply would have been near impossible in a brick and mortar shop. In conclusion, online shopping offers greater benefits to customers compared to in-store purchases. Due to these distinct advantages of virtual stores, I wholeheartedly believe that the age of retail stores is nearing its end.
With the advent of the Internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gained the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services via the computer. On-the-web commerce is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
highly
lucrative business and
is valued
in the billions of dollars
annually
. This phenomenon is having a major impact on the traditional way of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
, which is, in my opinion an advantageous tendency since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is both time-saving and more convenient. Aside from finding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
deals and avoiding the crowds, there is a plethora of reasons to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
rather
than on the high street.

The amount of time and energy involved in purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
significantly
less than that which
is needed
to go to physical shops. In certain instances, it takes several days to find the right merchandise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays all you need is to have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, like Amazon or
Possible spelling mistake found.
EBay
, search by name, click a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
payment. Never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
been as
instantly
available as in internet-based shops,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of which provide overnight delivery and customer-friendly return policies.
For example
, for my mother’s last birthday, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a fancy dress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. I can say, using the Internet for this acquisition empowered me to relish my laid-back experience when any item I wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
is accessible with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click or two.
As a result
, it would be no exaggeration to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free, which is essential for modern society.

Yet
another merit of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is that internet-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
significantly
cost-efficient. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
directly
from the manufacturer, and they do not need to pay for a rent, and
therefore
, they can sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cheaper by as much as 50%.
In addition
, they
also
provide customers with discounts for
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
and offer direct mail advertising with the information of new sales monthly.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
enable customers to review dozens of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and compare them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
settling on the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
. This
simply
would have been near impossible in a brick and mortar shop.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
offers greater benefits to customers compared to in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
. Due to these distinct advantages of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, I
wholeheartedly
believe that the age of retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
is nearing its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the age of shopping malls is coming to an end, soon online shopping will completely replace retail stores. Explain the reasons for this and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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