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Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge impact on both individuals and society. MMm2k
Nowadays most people argue that happiness it's not merely about money. personally, I agree with this statement even though with money people can purchase anything they want also have sufficient life but not everything can be bought with money and that includes happiness. This essay will discuss why bliss is tough to define also what people should do to find their bliss. To begin with, if we talk about beatitude, it is obvious that each individual has their own view about it. In my perspective, happiness is all about love that surrounding us. If we interpret the meaning of it, is really difficult to describe it since everybody has their own aspects that make them excited and that is different according to each person. For example, probably the definition of bliss for poor people is when they can eat and fulfill their needs meanwhile wealthy people describe it when they can purchase anything and travel everywhere they wish. Happiness can be achieved by attempting to find the things that make us pleased. if we have not understand about it, then it will be complicated to achieve happiness in life. Furthermore, happiness can be obtained by making someone glad. To illustrate this, when we give someone something that they need and they feel grateful for us it will bring satisfaction to ourselves which leads to happiness. In conclusion, a plethora of people believes that money is not always brought excitement. In addition, happiness is complicated to explain because every person has their own perspective about it also to accomplish happiness people can make someone happy which is leads to their happiness too
Nowadays most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
it's not
merely
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
even though
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything they want
also
have sufficient life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not everything can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and that includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. This essay will discuss why bliss is tough to define
also
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do to find their bliss.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we talk about beatitude, it is obvious that each individual has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view about it. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is all about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that surrounding us. If we interpret the meaning of it, is
really
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
it since everybody has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
aspects that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them excited and
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
according to each person.
For example
,
probably
the definition of bliss for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
when they can eat and fulfill their needs meanwhile wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
it when they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything and travel everywhere they wish.

Happiness can
be achieved
by attempting to find the things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
we have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "understood".
understand
about it, then it will
be complicated
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in life.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be obtained
by making someone glad. To illustrate this, when we give someone something that they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
need and
they feel grateful for us it will bring satisfaction to ourselves which leads to happiness.

In conclusion
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not always brought excitement.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is complicated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every person has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective about it
also
to accomplish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone happy which is leads to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
too
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IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites have had a huge impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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