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Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young.Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive. JrOD
Generally, music either can be beneficial or harmful depends on the composition and the performance. I will discuss in this essay the negative and positive triggers of music in different aspects. Music can be negative if it contains vicious materials that effect youth and kids. Young people can aim to entertain and perform music but in good manner. For example, there are kinds of music train people to acquire bad behaviors like sexual musics which lead them to try and apply those behaviors on their personal life by the end of the day they realize it is not as what they think and that behavior does not fit them. On the other hand, music could be positive in many ways. Cultures and traditions are never spread without music involvement. It is the part of our nations and represents our identities. So music such as other parts of any civilizations plays significant role in enhancing the quality of the population and speaks on behalf of them about their ancestors and roots. In conclusion, since the music are considered to be a way of enjoyment but we should never ignore the dark and bright sides of it. I think music is beneficial but can be harmful on young people if they liok for vicious types of music. While music can show tge otger side of people’s root and tradition which are kindly will never be explored if music does not exist.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
either can be beneficial or harmful depends on the composition and the performance. I will discuss in this essay the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
triggers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
if it contains vicious materials that effect youth and kids. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can aim to entertain and perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner.
For example
, there are kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors like sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
which lead them to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
apply those behaviors on their personal life by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day they realize it is not as what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and that behavior does not fit them.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Cultures and traditions are never spread without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
involvement. It is the part of our nations and represents our identities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as other parts of any civilizations plays significant role in enhancing the quality of the population and speaks on behalf of them about their ancestors and roots.
In conclusion
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are considered
to be a way of enjoyment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the dark and bright sides of it. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can be harmful on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they
Possible spelling mistake found.
liok
for vicious types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Possible spelling mistake found.
tge
Possible spelling mistake found.
otger
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
root and tradition which are kindly will never
be explored
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not exist.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern music can have a negative impact on the young. Others believe the effect of modern music is positive.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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