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Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media?

Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media? w5dr
Many people would argue that cause of violence is because of television and films and others believed due to rise in unemployment, poor financial condition. I believe that these two reasons are equally responsible in increasing violence in society. Furthermore, Violence in most of the cases is take place by getting idea from visuals, visuals are most influence part in society. Now a days, series or films on crime is easily available on tot platform, social media which impetus culprit towards violence. This is fact that social media attracts towards exposure, and media played a vital role to compel one towards violence and to believe that over 10 years wings of media was globally spread. In today's world portrayal of films are filmed by directors in a way that are clearly emphasis on violence. Aftermath of this many people thinks that violence is only possible way. To illustrate, if one has an issue related with any member, then would be possible one might think to get rid by do violence, by drawing action of violence from any of visuals. Moreover, unfortunately there are some fundamental reasons such as unemployment, poverty, racism, prejudice are also causes violence and compel towards ferocity, among these fundamental reasons, most of the societies faces unemployment as a major issue and it is because of rise in competition, rise in population and it is very difficult to have promising employment. To include, fundamental reasons are increase more with modern generation, but these reasons are also interrelated with media. To conclude, media has a negative and important effect on society and we all should come forward to move step against violence, there must be some prominent guidelines for films to narrate message against violence. Undoubtedly society must prove to be decent beyond media or any of fundamental reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would argue that cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of television and films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
believed due to rise in unemployment, poor financial condition. I believe that these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are
equally
responsible in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in society.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violence
in most of the cases is take place by getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
from visuals, visuals are most influence part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
, series or films on crime is
easily
available on tot platform, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which impetus culprit towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. This is fact that social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
attracts towards exposure, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
played a vital role to compel one towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and to believe that over 10 years wings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
was globally spread. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world portrayal of films
are filmed
by directors in a way that are
clearly
emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
. Aftermath of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible way. To illustrate, if one has an issue related with any member, then would be possible one might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid by do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, by drawing action of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
from any of visuals.

Moreover
, unfortunately there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
such as unemployment, poverty, racism, prejudice are
also
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and compel towards ferocity, among these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
faces unemployment as a major issue and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rise in competition, rise in population and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to have promising employment. To include,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are increase more with modern generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are
also
interrelated with media.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we all should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
step against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prominent guidelines for films to narrate message against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
.
Undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prove to be decent beyond
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or any of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that increasing levels of violence on television and in films is having a direct result on levels of violence in society. Others claim that violence in society is the result of more fundamental social problems such as unemployment. How much do you think society is affected by violence in the media?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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