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many people believe that cooking is essential life skill and should be taught at school level to both girls and boys.others disagree and believe that it is wastage of time .discuss both views and give your opinion.

undoubtedly, culinary skill is one of the most crucial skills, which is more worthful for both males and females in their commencement years of life. while some people argued that, to learn these kind of skills is a wastage of school time where a pupil have to learn abundant of other fruitful subjects. I firmly accord that, cooking skill is benevolent for the students in their early age. To embark on, those people who beleive that cooking skills should be essential to be taught in schools, give their reasons as follows. First of all, learning these skills would be beneficial for students in their further life. Nowadays, more and more pupils prefer to go abroad for their higher education. Thus, they would be able to cook for themselves there, as they would be independent. Furthermore, these skills also helps in constructing career, as some students having interest in these activities can opt them as a carrer option. In addition to this, these skills help mentees to aquire knowldege about healthy lifestyle as well as proper balanced diet including proteins, vitamins, and carbohydrates and also bring awareness among students about the health issues caused ny junk foods. On the other hand, the opponents of this view consider that students already have a lot of burden of their studies, so addinv these activities can enhance their burden and there would be no time for outdoor activities. Another reason for this view is that, sometimes the absence of proper supervision while teaching these skills, can cause mishappenings; for instance, sometimes students would cut their hand while chopping vegetables with a knife. Therefore, some masses consider it useless to teach these skills at school. All in all, I personally believe that, food is basic ammenity of life. Therefore, it is obligatory for both girls and boys to learn clinary skills at school, as these skills not only make a person independent but also open doors for career options and leads to holistical development of an individual.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
undoubtedly
, culinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is one of the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
worthful
for both males and females in their commencement years of life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that, to learn
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
a pupil
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn abundant of other fruitful subjects. I
firmly
accord that, cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is benevolent for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their early age. To embark on, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
that cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be essential to
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, give their reasons as follows.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their
further
life. Nowadays, more and more pupils prefer to go abroad for their higher education.
Thus
, they would be able to cook for themselves there, as they would be independent.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in constructing career, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having interest in these activities can opt them as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
carrer
option.
In addition
to this, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
mentees to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquire
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowldege
about healthy lifestyle
as well
as proper balanced diet including proteins, vitamins, and carbohydrates and
also
bring awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about the health issues caused
Possible spelling mistake found.
ny
junk foods.
On the other hand
, the opponents of this view consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
already have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
burden of their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
addinv
these activities can enhance their burden and there would be no time for outdoor activities. Another reason for this view is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the absence of proper supervision while teaching these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, can cause
Possible spelling mistake found.
mishappenings
;
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
their hand while chopping vegetables with a knife.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses consider it useless to teach these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. All in all, I
personally
believe that, food is basic
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammenity
of life.
Therefore
, it is obligatory for both girls and boys to learn
Possible spelling mistake found.
clinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
open doors for career options and leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
holistical
development of an individual.
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IELTS essay many people believe that cooking is essential life skill and should be taught at school level to both girls and boys. others disagree and believe that it is wastage of time.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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