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Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has, the happier they should be. Do you agree with this statement? Give relevant examples from your own experience.

Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has, the happier they should be. Give relevant examples from your own experience. wB7WE
Some individuals link wealth with the state of being happy and argue that if a person has more wealth, he or she would be more happier. In my opinion, I strongly support this view and believe that more money means more happiness in life. To commence with, money can buy happiness because individuals need many things like a house, cars in life, and if they can afford whatever they want, it would certainly make them joyful and satisfied. With ample amount of wealth, individuals can provide the best education and quality of life to their children, which will create a feeling of fulfilment among the family. To illustrate further, according to a survey by Times Now in Mumbai, India, it was found that people who struggle to fulfil their end meets were less happy than those upper-class people who were able to afford all the basic amenities. Furthermore, many individuals become cheerful by serving needy people. The rich people do a lot of charity work and they also donate a huge amount of money for the betterment of society. This feeling of helping others make them proud and happy. For instance, The richest person of India Mukesh Ambani does a lot of charity work and he also runs many NGOs. He recently admitted in a Television show that helping others makes him cheerful and complete. Therefore, it is evident that money can help a person in becoming happy. To conclude, Huge amount of wealth can be helpful in fulfilling the needs of individuals and their family members which eventually make them happy, and helping others could also help in making a person cheerful. Therefore, I agree with the viewpoint that more money could bring more happiness in the individual’s life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
link
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
with the state of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and argue that if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
, he or she would be
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
. In my opinion, I
strongly
support this view and believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
means more happiness in life.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, cars in life, and if they can afford whatever they want, it would
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them joyful and satisfied. With ample amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can provide the best education and quality of life to their children, which will create a feeling of
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
among the family. To illustrate
further
, according to a survey by Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in Mumbai, India, it
was found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who struggle to fulfil their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
meets were less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
than those upper-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were able to afford all the basic amenities.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
become cheerful by serving needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The rich
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people
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
charity
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they
also
donate a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the betterment of society. This feeling of helping others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them proud and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
For instance
, The richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
of India Mukesh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
charity
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
he
also
runs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
NGOs. He recently admitted in a Television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that helping others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him cheerful and complete.
Therefore
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in becoming happy.

To conclude
, Huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
can be helpful in fulfilling the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and their family members which
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, and helping others could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
cheerful.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could bring more happiness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
life.
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IELTS essay Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has, the happier they should be. Give relevant examples from your own experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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