Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people? kYxgR
Recent statistics show that the average of daily working hours is increasing worldwide. This essay will reveal some of the causes behind this phenomenon and try to uncover its negative effects on workers. To commence, the main reason why people are working for longer hours refer to the fact that human demands are increasing drastically. In order to afford buying the newly developed devices, consumers should work for extra hours. To illustrate, buying the latest version of a mobile phone requires lots of money. As a result, increasing shift time is the only way to earn that amount of money. Moreover, the new mode of living especially in western society, encourage individuals to overspend. As a consequence, working overtime is the only way to keep a high standard of living. Therefore, people work longer in an effort to afford paying luxurious items and services. Working for long hours for a long period of time has a detremental effect on people mental and physical well-being. By spending long hours at the office concentrating on working, a person will defenitely be subject to depression. To illustarte, a research developed in the USA shows that the majority of people who are working more than ten hours daily, face an extreme stress after a short period of time. In addition, extra time workers become tired, less efficient and lose concentration. Thus, a balanced time between work and leisure time is indispensable for healthy employee. To conclude, to afford a luxurious way of living people have to work for long hours. However, this way of working has severe consequences on humans physical and mental health. People should balance between what they earn and the way they spend, so they dont have to sacrifice one for the other.
Recent statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the average of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is increasing worldwide. This essay will reveal
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes behind this phenomenon and try to uncover its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on workers.

To commence, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
refer to the fact that human demands are increasing
drastically
. In order to afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to buy".
buying
the
newly
developed devices, consumers should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. To illustrate, buying the latest version of a mobile phone requires lots of money.
As a result
, increasing shift
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to earn that amount of money.
Moreover
, the new mode of living
especially
in western society, encourage individuals to overspend. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overtime is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a high standard of living.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
longer in an effort to afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to pay".
paying
luxurious items and services.

Working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
detremental
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mental and physical well-being. By spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at the office concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, a person will
Possible spelling mistake found.
defenitely
be subject to depression. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
illustarte
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
developed in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
more than ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
daily, face an extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
workers become tired, less efficient and lose concentration.
Thus
, a balanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is indispensable for healthy employee.

To conclude
, to afford a luxurious way of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
However
, this way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
has severe consequences on humans physical and mental health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should balance between what they earn and the way they spend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice one for the other.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many people are working longer hours. Why is this happening? What problems can this cause to people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts