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MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME TRAVELLING TO WORK OR SCHOOL. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. v.2

MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME TRAVELLING TO WORK OR SCHOOL. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS. v. 2
Time is the most precious thing we have nowadays. Individuals are travelling far for their work and education. I believe there are more disadvantages than advantages to this. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints. On the one hand, there are people who argue that commuting greater distances is beneficial. They think one might read a book or listen to a podcast while travelling. I feel this can be done better at home, where you are relaxed, and more concentrated. This is because you are not distracted by traffic. For instance, while driving you have to pay attention to cars and pedestrians. Furthermore, when a person is multitasking while driving, the chances of accidents increases. In contrast, if a person is paying full attention to only driving, the probability of any mishap decreases. On the other hand, spending more time travelling wastes a lot of time. This is because an average person spends a couple of hours commuting. For example, if someone's school or workplace is 20KM away. It takes around an hour driving. This time could have been spent on more important things like spending time with your family. In addition, if you save this time, you get more to do things that matters like working or studying. To conclude, having your work closer to your home has more positives than negatives. You can enjoy life more by saving crucial time, and being safe on the road by not getting distracted. As a result, you are saving money because time is money these days.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
is the most precious thing we have nowadays. Individuals are travelling far for their work and education. I believe there are more disadvantages than advantages to this. This essay will discuss both the viewpoints.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that commuting greater distances is beneficial. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
one might read a book or listen to a podcast while travelling. I feel this can
be done
better at home, where you
are relaxed
, and more concentrated. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are not distracted by traffic.
For instance
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to cars and pedestrians.
Furthermore
, when a person is multitasking while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, the chances of accidents increases.
In contrast
, if a person is paying full attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, the probability of any mishap decreases.

On the other hand
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
travelling wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
an average person spends a couple of hours commuting.
For example
, if someone's school or workplace is 20KM away. It takes around an hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could have
been spent
on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with your family.
In addition
, if you save this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more to do things that matters like working or studying.

To conclude
, having your work closer to your home has more positives than negatives. You can enjoy life more by saving crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and being safe on the road by not getting distracted.
As a result
, you are saving money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is money these days.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay MANY PEOPLE ARE NOW SPENDING MORE AND MORE TIME TRAVELLING TO WORK OR SCHOOL. SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHILE OTHERS THINK THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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