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Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives but few people achieve it What are the problems in trying it and how to overcome it

Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives but few people achieve it What are the problems in trying it and how to overcome it KwYkL
Since the majority of workers finds it hard to strike a proper balance between work and life, it has been recently claimed that a work-life balance is extremely hard to maintain. There are many factors which invoke this common issue. However, I believe that some measurements can be adopted to tackle this tense relationship between workplace and private life. On the other hand, there are potential work-related problems which directly affect this alarming issue in employees. To begin with, one of the most obvious roots is the heavy workloads in workplace. In addition, many companies in this contemporary society force their employees to deal with the excessive number of tasks in a short period of time. Hence, workers may find it difficult to allocate personal time for leisure stuffs and relaxation, leading to the work-life imbalance. Moreover, due to the stiff competition in job market, spending more time in workplace is one of the ideal ways to hold workers’ current positions. If people do not sacrifie their time and commit to their occupations, they will be eliminated out of the organisations by more excellent co-workers, leading to not only unemployment but also financial burden. However, these problems described above can be solved by adopting effective measurements. Firstly, it is the responsibility of companies to provide their workers with a 4-week holiday annually. For instance, KFC has recently given its staff a short time of vacation every year. Such a judicious method can not only give people the opportunities to eradicate the hectic schedule at work but also lead to more effective performances later. Secondly, the thorough plan should be created by each individual in order to bring back the work-life balance. A to-do list which logically arranges the time spent at work and private life can effectively create motivation and direction for aldults to ease the tense relationship between these two contradictory areas. Take everything into consideration, so intensive is the workplace in this contemporary society that many workers struggle to find personal time. However, a timely assistance from the companies and individually plan are what the solutions for this problems are all about.
Since the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
finds it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to strike a proper balance between work and life, it has been recently claimed that a work-life balance is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which invoke this common issue.
However
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measurements can
be adopted
to tackle this tense relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
and private life.

On the other hand
, there are potential work-related problems which
directly
affect this alarming issue in employees. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most obvious roots is the heavy workloads in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in this contemporary society force their employees to deal with the excessive number of tasks in a short period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
may find it difficult to allocate personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for leisure stuffs and relaxation, leading to the work-life imbalance.
Moreover
, due to the stiff competition in job market, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
is one of the ideal ways to hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
positions. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
sacrifie
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and commit to their occupations, they will
be eliminated
out of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
by more excellent co-workers, leading to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unemployment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
financial burden.

However
, these problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above can
be solved
by adopting effective measurements.
Firstly
, it is the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
with a 4-week holiday
annually
.
For instance
, KFC has recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
its staff a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of vacation every year. Such a judicious method can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the opportunities to eradicate the hectic schedule at work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead to more effective performances later.
Secondly
, the thorough plan should
be created
by each individual in order to bring back the work-life balance. A to-do list which
logically
arranges the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent at work and private life can
effectively
create motivation and direction for
Possible spelling mistake found.
aldults
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the tense relationship between these two contradictory areas.

Take everything into consideration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
intensive is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workplace
in this contemporary society that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
struggle to find personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, a timely assistance from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
individually
plan are what the solutions for
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems are all about.
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IELTS essay Many people aim to achieve a balance between work and other parts of lives but few people achieve it What are the problems in trying it and how to overcome it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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