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Many or many children face problem of obesity. Explain the causes and effects to this problem?

Many or many children face problem of obesity. Explain the causes and effects to this problem? 1ggA
It is undoubtely the case that people from developed and developing countries around the world dacw problem by obesity. Many of children are facing the issue of obesity. There are several relavant reasons and effects which can be discussed in this essayThere are numerous factors which leads to the overweight of childern. The primary cause is that at present time youngsters prefer to eat junk food more rather than home made food due to this fast food is oily substance which conseqently increase the fat hence they become more bulk. Secondly, within the advancement of technology number of electronic gadgets are available in owing to this children spend their leisure time on these electronic equipment instead of playing outdoor games which aa resultant they gain more fat which they can reduce by doing outdoor activities. On the other hand there are certain effects which are associated with this issue. Firstly, due to the fatty body various health issues can arise which includes health diseases, theirod, kidney issues and many more which probably ensure the risk of death. The other worth mentioning effect is, they may facw problem while doing any activity which is the one of barrier for their success. However. they do no able to perform work with effeciently. In conclusion, despite of some obvious reasons, few effects can be seen which now a days children Usually face in their life
It is
undoubtely
the case that
people
from developed and
developing countries
around the world
dacw
problem by obesity.
Many
of children are facing the
issue
of obesity. There are several
relavant
reasons and effects which can
be discussed
in this
essayThere
are numerous factors which leads to the overweight of
childern
. The primary cause is that at present time youngsters prefer to eat junk food more
rather
than home made food due to this
fast
food is oily substance which
conseqently
increase the
fat
hence
they become more bulk.
Secondly
, within the advancement of technology number of electronic gadgets are available in owing to
this
children spend their leisure time on these electronic equipment
instead
of playing outdoor games which
aa
resultant they gain more
fat
which they can
reduce
by doing outdoor activities.
On the other hand
there are certain effects which
are associated
with this
issue
.
Firstly
, due to the fatty body various health
issues
can arise which includes health diseases,
theirod
, kidney
issues
and
many
more which
probably
ensure the
risk
of death. The other worth mentioning
effect
is, they may
facw
problem while doing any activity which is the one of barrier for their success.
However
.
they
do no able to perform work with
effeciently
.

In conclusion
,
despite of
some
obvious reasons, few effects can be
seen
which
now a days
children
Usually
face in their life
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IELTS essay Many or many children face problem of obesity. Explain the causes and effects to this problem?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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