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Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. OLLp
Because of the development of information technology, people's lives are changing in terms of many aspects, such as how to live, enjoy, and work. Information technology contributes to making people's activities more convenient, while they are consuming more and more energy and resources. On the one hand, information technologies, typically the internet and smartphones, have a huge impact on people's lives. With only a smartphone and an internet connection, people can purchase whatever they want online, go wherever they want to visit without a map, and even have a conversation with anyone no matter where he/she is around the world. According to a piece of recent research at Kyoto University, the number of business persons who had an online meeting at least once a week accounted for more than 50%. In other words, humans receive more advantages than disadvantages regarding convenience. On the other hand, today's society wastes countless amounts of energy and resources. What is more, this tendency is expected to be accelerated in the future all over the world. From an environmental aspect, people cannot simply welcome information technology without considering the disadvantages. As a matter of fact, the amount of energy the world consumes is rising year by year, leading to more and more CO2 emissions, destroying our planet, threatening people's lives. In other words, it can be said that because of the current convenient lives, people overlook such environmentally serious drawbacks. To conclude, although human civilization should not be denied, wasting a tremendous amount of energy and resources have to be stopped. Therefore, the world needs to develop more efficient technologies which consume less energy and resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
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people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
are changing in terms of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, such as how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, enjoy, and work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
contributes to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
activities more convenient, while they are consuming more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and resources.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
,
typically
the internet and smartphones, have a huge impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a smartphone and an internet connection,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
whatever they want online, go wherever they want to visit without a map, and even have a conversation with anyone no matter where he/she is around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. According to a piece of recent research at Kyoto University, the number of business persons who had an online meeting at least once a week accounted for more than 50%.
In other words
, humans receive more advantages than disadvantages regarding convenience.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society wastes countless amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and resources.
What is more
, this tendency is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be accelerated
in the future all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. From an environmental aspect,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
simply
welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
without considering the disadvantages. As a matter of fact, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
consumes is rising year by year, leading to more and more CO2 emissions, destroying our planet, threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
In other words
, it can
be said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
overlook such
environmentally
serious drawbacks.

To conclude
, although human civilization should not
be denied
, wasting a tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
needs to develop more efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
which consume less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and resources.
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IELTS essay Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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