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Many Offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Many Offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem? YDQr
It is often seen that after their first punishment many culprits commit more crimes. This essay will shed light on its cause and solution respectively like: society does not accept them after the crime, and to solve this issue the society should take some responsibility to reduce the gap between them. To begin with, society is the prime factor, they do not want to indulge with offenders. Owing to this, they leave a negative impact on their mindset. To elaborate, after their first punishment, the community thinks that individual meetings, chatting, or being friends with them, could be dangerous for them and their family. Because they have some fear in their mind that after getting in contact, one can put his family into trouble. A Korean movie based on a novel named "Never Returned Same Home" has shown this same concept that a person trying to indulge with their old friends after committing his first crime by mistake, but his pals do not want to meet or contact him. In the last, because of the loneliness, he got stuck in the crime world. To fix this problem, society can provide moral support to the prisoner and they should give them a second chance to improvise themself. Pricesly, after released from jail, society should not judge them and moreover, being friendly with them can work as a stress buster. Providing the job is the biggest factor where they can show their keen interest towards offenders. Norway has a law, which inspires society to be friendly with prisoners, after getting on bail or released from jail, they provide them shelter and jobs as well. So that they can live their life as a civil citizen. And results have been stipulated that due to this policy, they shut down many prisons. Hence, providing moral support can be fruitful for prisoners. In conclusion, because the community does not co-operate and mixes with each other, they put the offenders in the loneliness stage. To overcome this issue, society itself is responsible and they should give them another chance to be part of a civil world.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that after their
first
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
culprits commit more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This essay will shed light on its cause and solution
respectively
like:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
does not accept them after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and to solve this issue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap between them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is the prime factor, they do not want to indulge with offenders. Owing to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their mindset. To elaborate, after their
first
punishment, the community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that individual meetings, chatting, or being friends with them, could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for them and their family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fear in their mind that after getting in contact, one can put his family into trouble. A Korean movie based on a novel named
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Never Returned Same Home
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
has shown this same concept that a person trying to indulge with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends after committing his
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by mistake,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his pals do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
or contact him. In the last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the loneliness, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
stuck in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
world.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can provide moral support to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prisoner and
they should give them a second chance to improvise
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pricesly
, after released from jail,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should not judge them and
moreover
, being friendly with them can work as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster. Providing the job is the biggest factor where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their keen interest towards offenders. Norway has a law, which inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to be friendly with prisoners, after getting on bail or released from jail, they provide them shelter and jobs
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life as a civil citizen. And results have
been stipulated
that due to this policy, they shut down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prisons.
Hence
, providing moral support can be fruitful for prisoners.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the community does not co-operate and mixes with each other, they put the offenders in the loneliness stage. To overcome this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
itself is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsible and
they should give them another chance to be part of a civil world.

IELTS essay Many Offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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