Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many museums short for admission why others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantage?

There is a number of museums that collect entrance fee from visitor, while some allowed people to visit their museum for free. This essay illustrates the benefits and drawbacks of the topic, and provide relevant examples and reasons. One of the advantages of charging admission fee from the visitors is that museum can use that money to develop and construct more significant figure that make it more interesting to children. For example, the dinosaur museum that previously can not afford the dinosaur models for kids to play with are now be able to use the income from the admission to afford the model and bring joy to the kids who visit the museum. In addition, some museum that already have adequate amount of money, the museum can always donate these profit to the charity and bring more happiness to the community. On the other hand, to charge a visitor also have a slight negative effect due to the fact that it reduces the number of the museums' arrivals. According to a research, people are not willing to give up their money to any products or service that they have never seen before. But this problem can be solve by the power of commercial and promotion. In conclusion, it is obvious that the advantage of charging on visitors' admission is clearly outweigh the disadvantage. It provided opportunity for the museum to renovate and improve the exhibitions to be more suitable for children, as well as making a donation to charity. To be honest, there might be possible chances that collecting an entrance fee can cause a reduction in number of visitors, but promotion and press can eliminate the problem.
There is a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that collect entrance fee from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
for free. This essay illustrates the benefits and drawbacks of the topic, and provide relevant examples and reasons.

One of the advantages of charging admission fee from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money to develop and construct more significant figure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more interesting to children.
For example
, the dinosaur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that previously can not afford the dinosaur models for kids to play with are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the income from the admission to afford the model and bring joy to the kids who visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
that already have adequate amount of money, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can always donate these profit to the charity and bring more happiness to the community.

On the other hand
, to charge a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
also
have a slight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect due to the fact that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the number of the museums' arrivals. According to a research,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not willing to give up their money to any products or service that they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this problem can be
Consider using the past participle “solved”.
solve
by the power of commercial and promotion.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that the advantage of charging on visitors' admission is
clearly
outweigh the disadvantage. It provided opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to renovate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the exhibitions to be more suitable for children,
as well
as making a donation to charity. To be honest, there might be possible chances that collecting an entrance fee can cause a reduction in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
promotion and press can eliminate the problem.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many museums short for admission why others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many museums short for admission why others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantage?