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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outeigh disadvantages.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outeigh disadvantages. BGrw
Museum is the educational place where ancient and precious things are displayed. As entrance fees is charged by many museums while other encourage to visit free of cost. I think there are a certain benefits and disadvantages. To commence with, there are some major reasons why Museum may charge admission fees. Firstly, if Museum do charge entrance fees for visiting it, it may boost their income. Therefore, by using money they can maintain the infrastructure of museum and also they can hire professionals who can easily maintain the museum things. If museums are well managed by professionals it may bring excitement towords visitors to visit it. As a result, it will promote not only cultural values but also traditional values. However, there is one of the obvious reason why Museum might not be charged entrance fees to visit it because not every individual has handsome earnings, some belongs to middle class families. Therefore, they cannot afford it is easily. Consequently, these charges might fall direct impact on a number of visitors and it also discourage the interest of visitors to visit it. To conclude, all the museums must not be charged some expenses for entrance, but in my opinion the admission should be charged by museum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
is the educational place where ancient and precious things
are displayed
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
is charged
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
while other encourage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
free of cost. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are a certain benefits and disadvantages.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
may charge admission
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
.
Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
do charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
for visiting it, it may boost their income.
Therefore
, by using money they can maintain the infrastructure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and
also
they can hire professionals who can
easily
maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
things.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are well managed by professionals it may bring excitement
Possible spelling mistake found.
towords
visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it.
As a result
, it will promote not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cultural values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
traditional values.

However
, there is one of the obvious reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
might not
be charged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not every individual has handsome earnings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
belongs to middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families.
Therefore
, they cannot afford it is
easily
.
Consequently
, these charges might fall direct impact on a number of visitors and it
also
Did you mean "discourages"?
discourage
the interest of visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it.

To conclude
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be charged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entrance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion the admission should
be charged
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
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IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outeigh disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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