Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parent should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parent should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. KMlk
People hold the view that prolonged use of television and computer have a detrimental impacts on the young generation. As such, parents are advised to impose certain restrictions on their children‘s time spent on watching television and using computer. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this suggestion. To start with, numerous health issues among children are attributable to the excessive exposure to television and computer. Firstly, extended use of television and computer in succession may lead to a sedentary lifestyle and social alienation. This is owing to the fact that youngsters are transported to the virtual world, hence tend to less participate in social activities and ignore physical relationships in the real world. Secondly, it is prevailing that eyestrain is commonplace among those who are addicted to high-tech devices. Some even skip their meals in order to watch a favorite TV program or play an appealing video games, which allows no time for eye relaxation. In virtue of the aforementioned repercussions, it stands to reason that parents should set a limit on the amount of time on which their children are allowed to use television and computer. Youngsters, with the supervision and guidance of their parents, would be able to explore and take part in activities such as sports, which is beneficial to their physical health. Furthermore, by reducing the time spent on television and computer, children are able allocate additional time focusing on academic studies and expanding social circles. This, in return, equips the young with skills that is necessary for the future and broaden their horizons. In conclusion, excessive use of high-tech devices such as television and computer brings about negative impacts to children. As such, limiting the time use can be seen as vital actions by the parents to cultivate their children’s well-rounded development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold the view that prolonged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer have a detrimental impacts on the young generation. As such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are advised
to impose certain restrictions on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children‘s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and using computer. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this suggestion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, numerous health issues among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attributable to the excessive exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer.
Firstly
, extended
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer in succession may lead to a sedentary lifestyle and social alienation. This is owing to the fact that youngsters
are transported
to the virtual world,
hence
tend to less participate in social activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
physical relationships in the real world.
Secondly
, it is prevailing that eyestrain is commonplace among those who
are addicted
to high-tech devices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
even skip their meals in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a favorite TV program or play an appealing video games, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for eye relaxation.

In virtue of the aforementioned repercussions, it stands to reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should set a limit on the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer. Youngsters, with the supervision and guidance of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, would be able to explore and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in activities such as sports, which is beneficial to their physical health.
Furthermore
, by reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'allocate'.
able allocate
additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
focusing on academic studies and expanding social circles. This, in return, equips the young with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that is
necessary for the future and broaden their horizons.

In conclusion
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of high-tech devices such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As such, limiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as vital actions by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to cultivate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
well-rounded development.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parent should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parent should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?