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many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. dddK
Economic growth is the key of living standards and improving quality of life. For some countries, the economic progress is a vital goal for government`s power. However, it is thought that there are other types of progress that are equally crucial for a nation. Below, the gravity of economic advancement and other developments for a government will be discussed. On the one hand, economic expansion is one of the most powerful instruments in poverty reduction. Moreover, improving by an economic growth lead to being wealthy in the country. For instance, some newly developed Asian countries have been improving through several investments, as well as, the status of the population is also getting improved because of earning adequate finance. Furthermore, economic development influences on social life. For example, the employees who can earn money from their career pay more attention to their health, education and entertainment activities. As a result, the rate of idlers may be declined. On the other hand, there are numerous factors which are pivotal in government`s life. Additionally, the environmental issue is experienced every day by individuals, whereas, government only sees numbers. For example, in African countries, especially in undeveloped areas, people meet seasonal drought in their daily life. Thus, government should pay attention to these problems and try to solve through several factors. Likewise, educational progress has a pivotal role in government worldwide. In fact, when government prioritise the improvement of the education system, it will produce professional masters who secure well-paying jobs. They will provide a good on investment in the country. In conclusion, economic progress and other types of progresses should be equal, because development is not only result of improving on the aspect of the nation, but also requirement of various aspects of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
growth is the key of living standards and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is a vital goal for
The character between 'government' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "government’s" (curly apostrophe) or "government's" (straight apostrophe).
government`s
power.
However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that are
equally
crucial for a nation. Below, the gravity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advancement and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developments for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
be discussed
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
expansion is one of the most powerful instruments in poverty reduction.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth lead to being wealthy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
newly
developed Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
through several investments,
as well
as, the status of the population is
also
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of earning adequate finance.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development influences on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, the employees who can earn money from their career pay more attention to their health, education and entertainment activities.
As a result
, the rate of idlers may
be declined
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are numerous factors which are pivotal in
The character between 'government' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "government’s" (curly apostrophe) or "government's" (straight apostrophe).
government`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Additionally
, the environmental issue
is experienced
every day by individuals, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
numbers.
For example
, in African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
especially
in undeveloped areas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
seasonal drought in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay attention to these problems and try to solve through several factors.
Likewise
, educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has a pivotal role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
worldwide. In fact, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the improvement of the education system, it will produce professional masters who secure well-paying jobs. They will provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on investment in the country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progresses
should be equal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
development is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
on the aspect of the nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
requirement of various aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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