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many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. R99P
There are a number of goals governments should have to attain the overall development of their countries. Whereas, many decision makers consider economic growth as the most fundamental factor for developing their states because it can influence other factors to grow, others contemplate that different sectors (health and education) are equally significant because without that it is impossible to achieve total improvement. For some lawmakers, sustainable economic growth is the prime goal to fulfil. This is because they regard it as the strongest triggering agenda that has positive impacts on the other sectors, such as military, accommodation, roads and transport. This is how, only by attaining economic resilience, it is possible to sanction enough resources the other important fields to flourish. Therefore, if there is no economic security, a country would cripple or take decades to reach its cherished goal. However, only by the economic upswing, it would be unrealistic to meet all square developments of a nation. There are some other notable wings where we can focus. Education, for instance, is such a standard criterion, which can be a game changer. When a nation is propagated with proper education and skill, they will eventually succeed in every possible way. Likewise, The health department is an another example of such; if a country can not secure standard medical facilities to its citizens, it will be impractical to expect their contribution to accelerate advancement. For instance, Somalia's medical sector is one of the broken systems; as a result, they have a low progressing economy. Although the economic stability of a country the crucial trait to fuel the vital sectors, I find it is not the most significant, but the other departments have equivalent importance to obtain desired advancements.
There are a number of goals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attain the
overall
development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decision makers consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth as the most fundamental factor for developing their states
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors to grow, others contemplate that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
(health and education) are
equally
significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without that it is impossible to achieve total improvement.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lawmakers, sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is the prime goal to fulfil. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they regard it as the strongest triggering agenda that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, such as military, accommodation, roads and transport. This is how,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by attaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
resilience, it is possible to sanction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields to flourish.
Therefore
, if there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
security, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would cripple or take decades to reach its cherished goal.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
upswing, it would be unrealistic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all square developments of a nation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
notable wings where we can focus. Education,
for instance
, is such a standard criterion, which can be a game changer. When a nation
is propagated
with proper education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, they will
eventually
succeed in every possible way.

Likewise
, The health department is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "an example" or "another example".
an another example
of such; if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can not secure standard medical facilities to its citizens, it will be impractical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their contribution to accelerate advancement.
For instance
, Somalia's medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is one of the broken systems;
as a result
, they have a low progressing economy.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
stability of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the crucial trait to fuel the vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, I find it is not the most significant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
departments have equivalent importance to obtain desired advancements.
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IELTS essay many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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