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Many fast food companies are opening their shops as fast food is becoming famous. Can the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Many fast food companies are opening their shops as fast food is becoming famous. Can the advantages outweigh its disadvantages? YRo1d
In the era of globalization which results in rapid urbanization, people are working regardless the time to earn more and more money for a luxurious and prosperous life. But they often skip meals due to lack of time in their hectic routine. This is why fast foods are growing popular day by day. My opinion is discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Firstly, whenever a country's GDP(Gross Domestic Product) increases, large, reputed fastt food chains expand their franchise in that particular coutry. This not only gives people greater options to eat, but also increases competition among various companies to serve fresh food to their customers. Moreover, the employees generally have short lunch breaks of about 15-30 minutes to fill up their stomach. In such a short timr, it is impossible to eat traditional food at a food outlet. This is the biggest advantage of fast food. One could simply grab a quick bite beacuse fast food is served within very few minutes as the name itself suggests. However, most of the fast food ingredients are pre-made which sometimes get rotten and spoiled due to various reasons, one of them being climate. This causes food poisoning when one consumes such food. Furthermore, local street food stalls and restaurants owners are drastically affected as their sales decline. To conclude, fast food can help save your time to eat which could be utilized further to accomplish some important tasks but on the other hand, fast food restaurants cause major damage to native shop owners.
In the era of globalization which results in rapid urbanization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working regardless the time to earn more and more money for a luxurious and prosperous life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
skip meals due to lack of time in their hectic routine. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are growing popular day by day. My opinion
is discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

Firstly
, whenever a country's GDP(Gross Domestic Product) increases, large, reputed
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains expand their franchise in that particular
Possible spelling mistake found.
coutry
. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
greater options to eat,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increases competition among various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to serve fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to their customers.
Moreover
, the employees
generally
have short lunch breaks of about 15-30 minutes to fill up their stomach. In such a short
Possible spelling mistake found.
timr
, it is impossible to eat traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlet. This is the biggest advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. One could
simply
grab a quick bite
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is served
within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few minutes as the name itself suggests.

However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
ingredients are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-made
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rotten and spoiled due to various reasons, one of them being climate. This causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
poisoning when one consumes such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Furthermore
, local street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stalls and restaurants owners are
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as their sales decline.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save your time to eat which could
be utilized
further
to accomplish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants cause major damage to native shop owners.

IELTS essay Many fast food companies are opening their shops as fast food is becoming famous. Can the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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