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Many famous sports player advertise products .What Are the advantages and disadvantages.

Many famous sports player advertise products. What Are the advantages and disadvantages. xmOlQ
In this modern era, athletes are not considered less Than an actor. The demand for renowned sports player are have increased drastically since early 21st century, to instill products not only at domestic but also international level as-well; However, This essay will examine some merits and demerits. To commence with, One the primary reason many famous sports player are opted by number of multinational companies to promote their product is mainly because of exorbitant amount of fan following which they have on social media. With the advent of technology and low data charge almost everyone Nowadays Have access to internet. Through which they can connect with their sports sensation easily on social media such as: Instagram, Facebook etc. Looking at this opportunity Multinational brands find this as an opportunity to promote their product and exhort myriads of consumer to purchase them. Moreover, It creates additional income for Athletes as well. Sports player charge plethora amount to endorse products which creates secondary income for them. For instance, many cricketer promote products one of them is such Virat kohli - captain of Indian cricket team, is brand ambassador of Puma, one 8, and other fitness an products. Hence, Huge fan following and Additional income are some of the advantages. However, there are some demerits that come along the way. First and foremost reason is it create lack of concentration. Many sports payers indulge in promoting the brands. Because of which they barely spend enough time in to focus on the game for which they have chosen for. Due to minimum time spent on the ground they usually face loss and could not give their best to achieve the score and result are often facing loss. Secondly, just to be in trend It creates pressure on young and their parents just to acquire that product regardless of their Monetary condition. To Gain some money many youth nowadays take part in certain activity such as criminal activity, Robbery etc which often place them “Behind the bar”. In short Lack of concentration and growing illegal activity among youth are some of the demerits. To Recapitulate, Although Additional income and huge fan following are some of the merits which sports players get to instill brands. Whereas, Lack of concentration and growing illegal activity among youth are some of the demerits.
In this modern era, athletes are not considered less Than an actor. The demand for renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
increased
drastically
since early 21st century, to instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at domestic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
international level as-well;
However
, This essay will examine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits and demerits.

To commence with, One the primary reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
are opted
by number of multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of exorbitant amount of fan following which they have on social media. With the advent of technology and low data charge almost everyone Nowadays
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
Have
access to internet. Through which they can connect with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sensation
easily
on social media such as: Instagram, Facebook etc. Looking at this opportunity Multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
find this as an opportunity to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and exhort myriads of consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them.
Moreover
, It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for Athletes
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
charge plethora amount to endorse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for them.
For instance
,
Possible agreement error. The noun cricketer seems to be countable; consider using: "many cricketers".
many cricketer
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
one of them is such
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
kohli
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
captain of Indian cricket team, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
ambassador of Puma, one 8, and other fitness an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Hence
, Huge fan following and Additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
advantages.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along the way.
First
and foremost reason is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
lack of concentration.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
payers indulge in promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of which they
barely
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time in to focus on the game for which they have chosen for. Due to minimum time spent on the ground they
usually
face loss and could not give their best to achieve the score and result are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
facing loss.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to be in trend It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creates
pressure on young and their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to acquire that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
regardless of their Monetary condition. To Gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youth nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
such as criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, Robbery etc which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
place them “Behind the bar”. In short Lack of concentration and growing illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among youth are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
demerits.

To Recapitulate, Although Additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and huge fan following are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
merits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. Whereas, Lack of concentration and growing illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among youth are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
demerits.
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IELTS essay Many famous sports player advertise products. What Are the advantages and disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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