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Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. Noelia Ortega Noelia Ortega Jul 23, 2020·3 min read What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. Noelia Ortega Noelia Ortega Jul 23, 2020·3 min read What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? 23B6
It has been established that offenders will engage in criminal activities just after that are released from the prison, however, I believe that there must be reasons behind it. First, trouble-makers can no longer live peacefully and normally after they go back to the society since they committed crimes before therefore a majority of people will be afraid to make friends or communicate with them, which lead to culprits feeling lonely, unconfident and meaningless. Resulting in they engaging in criminal activities again in order to go back to the prison to live with the people who have similar backgrounds. Second, criminals are unable to make a living after going back to the society since they have been in the prison for several years, which caused them knowing less about the alterations of the community, they will consequently be lack of skills and abilities in order to find a job. Moreover, various number of employers will not hire them because of their criminal background, leading to criminal being unable to find a proper and stable work to earn for their living, so they will commit crimes in terms of stealing or rubbering. However, I trust that there must be possible manners to prevent criminals from committing crimes again. First, local authorities should provide courses from those offenders in order to help them understand the changes in the society these years, also provide an opportunity for them to learn a unknown skill which will be helpful for them to find an official job. Second, government should work with some local businesses in order to provide jobs for the culprits and also provide a chance for the companies to get exposed to workers who have special backgrounds, while these companies may explore some workers with high productivity, which caused the change of the impression of the offenders, finally they may be accepted. In conclusion, the backgrounds of criminals going into the prison extremely affect the quality of life of those trouble-makers after they are released from the prison. Nevertheless, I believe the government should provide education or programs with local businesses in order to prevent criminals from making those same mistakes again.
It has
been established
that offenders will engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
after that
are released
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
,
however
, I believe that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be reasons behind it.

First
, trouble-makers can no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
and
normally
after they go back to the society since they committed crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
therefore
a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be afraid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends or communicate with them, which lead to culprits feeling lonely, unconfident and meaningless. Resulting in
Did you mean "they're engaging", "they are engaging", or "they were engaging"?
they engaging
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities again in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to go back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living after going back to the society since they have been in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for several years, which caused them knowing less about the alterations of the community, they will
consequently
be lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and abilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to find a job.
Moreover
, various number of employers will not hire them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
background
, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
being unable to find a proper and stable work to earn for their living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will commit crimes in terms of stealing or
Possible spelling mistake found.
rubbering
.

However
, I trust that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be possible manners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from committing crimes again.
First
, local authorities should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
courses from those offenders in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the society these years,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
an opportunity for them to learn
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
which will be helpful for them to find an official job. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
local businesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
jobs for the culprits and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a chance for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to workers who have special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
, while these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
workers with high productivity, which caused the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the impression of the offenders,
finally
they may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
backgrounds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
going into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
extremely
affect the quality of life of those trouble-makers after they
are released
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
Nevertheless
, I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
education or programs with local businesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
from making those same mistakes again.
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IELTS essay Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison. Noelia Ortega Noelia Ortega Jul 23, 2020·3 min read What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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