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many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on span why it is positive or a negative development

many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on span why it is positive or a negative development 6e8j
Today's children are different from the children of previous generation. They are more interested in playing video games or sitting hours on the Playstation than in playing outdoor games. This essay intends to analyze the reason of this phenomenon. I believe that this is a negative development. The main reason why children spend more time on electronic games is that today's children are technology oriented. No matter how young the child is he knows everything about the future of computer and mobile phones to add to it parents also prefer that children playing in the games under the air conditioner instead of going out and getting dirty.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of previous generation. They are more interested in playing video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or sitting hours on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Playstation
than in playing outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay intends to analyze the reason of this phenomenon. I believe that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. The main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend more time on electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are technology oriented. No matter how young the child is he knows everything about the future of computer and mobile phones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to it parents
also
prefer that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
playing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
under the air conditioner
instead
of going out and getting dirty.
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IELTS essay many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and less time on span why it is positive or a negative development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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