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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so ?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so? KER1
In modern era, parents usually encourage their children to get themselves involved in any part-time jobs or internship. This encouragement may cause children to develop their skills. On the other hand, this may lead to bad experiences like indulging into mobbing. This essay will outline both advantages and disadvantages. To begin with, that main advantage of working part-time is that children will develop better confidence, communication skills, negotiation skills. Working individuals will gain plenty of experience with exposure to understand themselves beyond the norm of the society. For instance, a well experienced individual will find it easy in life to get better opportunity and career progression. To illustrate further, if children have faced any issue in there part time jobs will put them down as an individual and could also disturb their personality. For instance, if he/she gets bullied at their work place, it will create a negative impact on the future of an individual. To conclude, working part-time has now been trend of the society and students are encouraged to utilize their time more effectively by engaging themselves in part-time jobs.
In modern era, parents
usually
encourage their
children
to
get
themselves involved in any part-time jobs or internship. This encouragement may cause
children
to develop their
skills
.
On the other hand
, this may lead to
bad
experiences like indulging into mobbing. This essay will outline both advantages and disadvantages.

To
begin
with, that main advantage of working part-time is that
children
will develop better confidence, communication
skills
, negotiation
skills
. Working individuals will gain
plenty
of experience with exposure to understand themselves beyond the norm of the society.
For instance
, a well experienced individual will find it easy in life to
get
better opportunity and career progression.

To illustrate
further
, if
children
have faced any issue in there
part time
jobs will put them down as an individual and could
also
disturb their personality.
For instance
, if he/she
gets
bullied at their work place, it will create a
negative
impact on the future of an individual.

To conclude
, working part-time has
now
been trend of the society and students
are encouraged
to utilize their time more
effectively
by engaging themselves in part-time jobs.
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IELTS essay Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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