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List some benefits and problems of having young kids play sports!

List some benefits and problems of having young kids play sports! 2bg0J
Playing sports have a significant impact in young kids because it help their physically development as well as mentally. Also there are numerous problems that can be faced during the time they play. Although the sport is recommended for every person in every age, it plays a big role in youth generations especially. It is important way for them to develop their skills and to be tested by their parents if they can be successful athletes in the future. Moreover, they can make their parents and family very proud. The wining of the prizes can help them to pay the university as well. One of my friend was playing soccer since she was four years old and it helped her to became a symbol of success when she grown up. Thus, she won the games couple times, she was chosen as the best player of the year and without a doubt she made happy and proud all of us. Likewise, the prize that she won was an amount of 30. 000 dollars which was more than enough for her to pay for the teaching school she was attending. This was a excellent benefit for her and her family certainly. Even tough, in the first look having kids that play sports seems to be a gold trophy, it has its dark side as well. First of all, parents needs to pay a lot of money for their kids if they want to register them in a sport club. Nowadays, the sports club and the coaches are very expensive and this is a problem that many of the parents find it difficult. I enrolled my son to play baseball in our park district school. He is a good player, but I am having hard time to effort it. Every six months I am required to pay 1000$ for him to continue with training classes. This amount might not be a big deal for someone else, but I consider it a high prize. Other problem is the safety. It happened to my son last year to broke his arm. He was not allowed to play for seven months after that, and the pain was another problem of course. In summary, people can get lots of benefits of having kids that play sports, but they should keep in mind the problems that sports can bring in their life, as I mentioned the amount of the money that should be paid out of pocket and the safety of their children!
Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a significant impact in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
their
physically
development
as well
as mentally.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that can
be faced
during the time they play.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is recommended
for every person in every age, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
role in youth generations
especially
. It is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a important".
important
way for them to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
if they can be successful athletes in the future.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
proud. The wining of the prizes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
the university
as well
. One of my friend was playing soccer since she was four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
her
Did you mean "to become"?
to became
a symbol of success when
It seems that a verb is missing after "she". Please verify.
she
grown up.
Thus
, she won the games couple times, she
was chosen
as the best player of the year and without a doubt she made happy and proud all of us.
Likewise
, the prize that she won was an amount of 30. 000 dollars which was more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for her to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the teaching school she was attending. This was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
excellent benefit for her and her family
certainly
.

Even tough, in the
first
look having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
seems to be a gold trophy, it has its dark side
as well
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
if they want to register them in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
club. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
club and the coaches are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and this is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
find it difficult. I enrolled my son to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
baseball in our park district school. He is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
player,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to effort it. Every six months I
am required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000$
for him to continue with training classes. This amount might not be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal for someone else,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I consider it a high prize. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the safety. It happened to my son last year to broke his arm. He was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
for seven months after that, and the pain was another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of course
.

In summary,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lots of benefits of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can bring in their life, as I mentioned the amount of the money that should
be paid
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
out of pocket
and the safety of their children!
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IELTS essay List some benefits and problems of having young kids play sports!

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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