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Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books. To what extent do you agree?

Libraries have to uplift their existing state by developing it's technical aspects instead of just focusing on accumulating wider books and papers. I do not completely agree on this statement and i believe it should have a balance between advancement of technology and collection of range of books. This essay will first discuss the pros of having larger book collection and then the benefits of upgrading technical areas in library. A library must contain varieties of books, newspapers, publications which can be beneficial in many ways. Firstly, larger collection of learning materials offers a reader with a different options, so that a study center can attract any type of customer. Eventually, it improves total number of customers vising a center and also helps is generating more revenue. Aa an instance, an investigation done in a local community has shown 5that public prefer to visit private library over public one due to the availability of abundant reading materials. Secondly, although paper books requires larger space and buildings, it is til People's favourite way of learning and gaining information. As an example, despite of abundance of online materials, reading newspapers with a cup of tea in early morning is a habitual task of many individuals. However, improving on technological resources definitely have many positive aspects. To start with, improving computer system and network in a library will certainly helps to accommodate every group of readers such as children to elderly people. Since a system can be a source of infinite information, it is beneficial for upgrading and updating existing knowledge. Furthermore, it only takes limited space to fit more systems rather than assembling piles of hard copies of books and newspapers To conclude. a library should upgrade it's quality by developing new technology and adding up new resources such as computers to encourage e-learning, although it must contain sufficient paper materials in order to welcome all the possible readers
Libraries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
uplift their existing state by developing it's technical aspects
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focusing on accumulating wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and papers. I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on this statement and i believe it should have a balance between advancement of technology and collection of range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This essay will
first
discuss the pros of having larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
collection and then the benefits of upgrading technical areas in library.

A library
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
contain varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, newspapers, publications which can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Firstly
, larger collection of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
offers a reader with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a study center can attract any type of customer.
Eventually
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
total number of customers vising a center and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
is generating more revenue. Aa an instance, an investigation done in a local community has shown 5that public prefer to visit private library over public one due to the availability of abundant reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
.
Secondly
, although paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
requires larger space and buildings, it is til
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's favourite way of learning and gaining information. As an example, despite of abundance of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, reading newspapers with a cup of tea in early morning is a habitual task of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.

However
, improving on technological resources definitely have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, improving computer system and network in a library will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to accommodate every group of readers such as children to elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Since a system can be a source of infinite information, it is beneficial for upgrading and updating existing knowledge.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes limited space to fit more systems
rather
than assembling piles of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and newspapers

To conclude
. a library should upgrade it's quality by developing new technology and adding up new resources such as computers to encourage e-learning, although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
contain sufficient paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
in order to welcome all the possible readers
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IELTS essay Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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